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Adding insult to insult

By Ugh - 25/06/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, a month after our breakup, my ex sent me a glorious butt pic. This was followed up with, "Wrong person, please delete that." I asked her for two years to send me sexy pictures, and she always refused, saying it was "too slutty" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 50

Routine

By RIP - 24/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, two years after marrying my fun, adventurous fiancée, she's turned into a whiny, nagging bore. Date nights are now "eat leftovers and watch reality TV nights" and sex is once a month, with her asking, "Are you about to finish? Are you almost done?" the whole way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 75

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 14:00 - United States - Altoona

Today, after my girlfriend had said she was cooking surprise dinner for me this week, the crazy thing is I came home early from work and the surprise dinner was she was eating some dude's cock and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 67

Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out that I’ve broken up with every man I’ve dated, teen years to adulthood, for no reason. I left my soulmate convinced my body was rejecting him physically. It turns out I have involuntary pelvic spasms and need therapy to dilate, and also therapy due to anxiety with penetration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 97

Get it on

By Em. - 21/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I learned that my married mom has been having an affair with my best friend for over a year. When I tried to fight him, he knocked me on my ass and said, "Your mom is sexy, and your dad's tiny dick wasn't good enough for her. Don't screw this up for me or I'll beat your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 69

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 19/06/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have to wear glasses for the first time in my life and my husband won’t stop pestering me because I now look like a librarian, which gets his nerd engine revving like mad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m liking the affection, and who doesn’t want sex more often, but not 2-3 times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 123

Flirtatious mood

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a guy an up-skirt shot, trying to be cute and flirty. He responded with a series of increasingly more mean emojis, including the laughing eyes, the green nausea face, and finally the poop emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 229

The happy couple

By Sexless - 18/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, on our honeymoon, my wife still won't have sex with me. When I brought it up, she started crying and said she's still "not ready" for sex. We're both in our late twenties. When the fuck will she be ready? FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 128

What's Charlie Sheen up to these days?

By Anonymous - 16/06/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother, a real Alan Harper-type of snivelling parasite, has been sleeping on my sofa for over a week since his girlfriend threw him out. If I kick him out, the guilt will eat me alive, but now my wife has informed me I’m never getting sex again until he’s gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 124

About that "why"…

By Wtf - 15/06/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I found out that the girl I like is fucking my friend. The friend who she always said was "a disgusting sexist pig" and swore she hated. The worst part is, she's right, he's a complete dick to women. I don't know how or why he got in her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 75

Happy pride month?

By CuckedByIncognito - 13/06/2025 05:00 - United States - Harker Heights

Today, I realized my husband’s true “ride or die” is his dick. He’s posted it online, cammed with strangers, and fantasized about men, while I raised our kids, did IVF alone, and stayed loyal through deployments. He says he loves me. I’m not the gender of his fantasies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 73

Rico Suave

By eww - 12/06/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 68

I get around

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 20:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my slutty ex, whom I'd dumped because she cheated on me, cheated on her new boyfriend as well. With me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 486

Overenthusiastic

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to pick my wife up and put her on the worktop for some oral fun, and when I say "tried" I mean I failed. My back spasmed for the first time in my life and I sort of threw her into the fridge door. I’m now in agony, she’s mad that I “think she’s fat”, and the fridge has a dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 94

Status unclear

By Anonymous - 05/06/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Frameries

Today, my fiancée asked for a threesome. I don't want it. I think I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 66

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 13:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he pulled up his pants and said, "There you go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 92

The tedium of everyday life

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 11:00 - United States - Banning

Today, after seven years of marriage to a guy almost four years younger then me, he looks and acts like an old fart. He would rather watch TV than have intimacy with me. He can't even last longer than two minutes when we have sex, which ends up always leaving me frustrated and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 102

Friends with unclear benefits

By LizzoGirl - 02/06/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, the guy who friendzoned me asked me why I’ve been acting distant towards him. I told him that I refuse to give boyfriend benefits to someone who made it clear that we’re just friends any longer. He responded with, “Well, if you weren’t built like Lizzo before her weight loss, I wouldn’t have friendzoned you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 216

Hooky

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 13:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 364

Some people would be over the moon

By Allie - 29/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband has lost over a hundred pounds. I'm happy for him, but now he has an incredibly high sex drive and keeps asking for sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 355

Never joke around with the Hacky Sacks

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my husband is refusing any kind of sex with me. Last week, as a prank, I slapped his ballsack during foreplay, not hard at all. Now he says he "can't trust me" near his junk, the big baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 553

Squeamish

By Anonymous - 27/05/2025 19:00

Today, and ever since I gave birth, my husband hasn’t wanted to touch me because according to him, he "saw it all coming out down there, blood and mucus and stuff. They had to sew back together" and he can’t handle "putting his penis back in there." The birth was six months ago, I'm back to normal now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 78

I don't owe you anything

By Anonymous - 24/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me for sex and when I said no, he asked me to leave. When I demanded to know why, he told me I had reached his limit: if I denied him sex for longer than 6 weeks in a row then clearly I’m not interested in an adult relationship, and need to get the hell out. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 977

Caught in 4K

By Gwen - 24/05/2025 04:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, it was just epic. You know what's the last thing you want to hear from your naked husband, whom you are passionately playing with on a kitchen table? In a REALLY frivolous position too? "Uh… Hey kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 260

Sexy moves

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 19:00

Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 122

Ground rules

By Katie - 22/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, my boyfriend and I tried bondage for the first time. After I was tied up, I discovered he has a tickling fetish, which is when I learned why you should ALWAYS have a safe word before bondage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 282

The sensual sounds of Derek Bailey

By Anonymous - 22/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to try jazz music on YouTube. I’d only listened to a few songs when my dad came running in with a baseball bat, demanding to know where “he” was hiding. Apparently, everybody knows jazz is “sex music” so he thought I had a man in my room. I’m 24, I could have men in my room if I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 135

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 91

Cool down

By Bruises - 18/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my boyfriend picked me up during sex and set me on his shoulders, with his face buried in my pussy. I loved it until he took a step and put my face right in the path of the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 97

You seem delighted

By Anonymous - 16/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 119

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The Top

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and it started getting heated. I climbed on top of him and took his shirt off, but I guess my brain had a different idea. I ended up clinging to him for dear life because my brain decided that now was a good time for a seizure. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 135

Today, I’ve been having an affair with my cousin’s husband for the last 16 years. For 3-ish months, when my husband gets drunk, he accuses us of cheating & threatens to tell everyone. Sober, he remembers nothing. We are constantly worried he will tell but are too in love to end it. Both in bad marriages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 858

The Top

Today, I was in the bank with my seven year-old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say, "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 026

You deserved it 2 778

Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 213

You deserved it 1 026

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 796

You deserved it 4 170

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 804

You deserved it 2 632

Today, I went parasailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. On top of that, I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 848

You deserved it 3 477

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 791

You deserved it 3 688