Intimacy: Come on in…

Come on in…

By vaness@ - 06/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 11 948

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Bang for your buck

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 06:00

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 962

You deserved it 575

Sexy surprise

By perfectmoment - 10/10/2009 22:22 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 331

You deserved it 21 331

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 2 298

The best laid plans…

By A drunk walks into a bar and says NO SEX TONIGHT - 22/07/2022 16:00

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 296

Hi Honey, I'm home

By seminole711 - 20/09/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 132

You deserved it 6 972

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 353

You deserved it 6 226

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 653

You deserved it 2 747

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 945

You deserved it 50 950

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 2 601

By Stranded - 17/07/2009 07:58 - United States

Today, I got back from a romantic vacation at a fancy hotel with my boyfriend of 6 months. After a steamy love session, I confessed that I was in love with him. Later, when I got out of the shower, all his stuff was gone and I was stuck with the entire week's hotel cost and no ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 892

You deserved it 6 744

Lubinduba 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:46

hotel employees see weirder stuff than this all the time it's no biggie

iamtenyearsago 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 7:09

"A night of love with my darling." That made me laugh a lot D:

Comments

Eir_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 2:15

Whatever, you're never going to see this person again, what does it matter?

pinkfrenchrose 5

Saturday 14 March 2009 5:43

Use the peep hole. You coulda been raped! O_O lol I'm sucha dork. :P

nnnntr 17

Friday 4 July 2014 21:48

Ya you are a ******* dork

Lubinduba 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:46

hotel employees see weirder stuff than this all the time it's no biggie

dani_fizzle 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 2:20

its not so much that you deserved it more like.... you asked for it

Fields4mint 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 0:55

What, did your guy never show up or something? Is that why it's a FML? That the only person who saw you like that was room service? Otherwise, I can tell you, room service sees/hears much worse things than a woman in a sexy outfit.

iamtenyearsago 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 7:09

"A night of love with my darling." That made me laugh a lot D:

blo0_starZz 0

Thursday 17 June 2010 9:55

same! XD

maggiewalters 17

Saturday 11 April 2009 5:21

and thats why you should ALWAYS look through the peep hole!

ftsk_fan_12 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 4:23

1. next tim emaybe you should use the peephole and 2. hahahahahahahahah i so agree with #8. if my boyfriend texted me and said "are you ready for a night of love my darling?" i would probably punch myself in the face hahahahahahaha