Gross and Animals: No brainer

No brainer

By Spongebob Garypants - 26/05/2016 02:05 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 258

You deserved it 2 097

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Same thing different taste

By welcometomylife - 23/05/2017 12:00 - Germany - Hanover

Today, after a shitty day, I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. When I grabbed the salt container, the bottom lid came off and the salt went everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 938

You deserved it 374

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 007

You deserved it 3 460

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 434

You deserved it 1 858

Home invasion !

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 00:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I woke up to find my entire lounge floor crawling with maggots. Our whole house is clean, and they’re big enough to be days old, yet showed up overnight. I still have no idea where they’ve come from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 83

You got slimed

By alyssa ig idk - 30/09/2023 00:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I wasted 20 minutes trying to open a container of slime, only for rotten green liquid and weird brownish yellow goo to spray spanning 5 feet in all directions from me and my bed. I nearly threw up and now am getting a wet, sleepless night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 649

Slimed

By Hashtagfail - 04/08/2021 10:01 - Netherlands

Today, I went outside to feed the hedgehogs who often visit my garden. It was late in the evening and dark outside. I was walking barefoot, when I suddenly stepped on something. It felt soft and splashed apart under my foot. I looked and realized that I had stepped on a slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 349

Extra chunky

By goodbyediet - 30/01/2015 11:00 - United Kingdom - Accrington

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 733

You deserved it 5 743

By Anonymous - 17/12/2013 17:20 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 148

You deserved it 3 291

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 03:25 - United States

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 846

You deserved it 2 701

Bambi 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 02:03

Today, I came downstairs to find that our dog's six puppies, who have their own puppy-door to go outside whenever they want, had peed and pooped all over the floor, walked through the pee, and were now happily chewing on a half-rotten deer's head which they had dragged inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 325

whysobeachy 37

Thursday 26 May 2016 17:13

Wouldn't expecting intelligence from slugs make YOU the idiot? Ooohh, plot twist.

Tripartita 44

Thursday 26 May 2016 17:10

A fellow attendee of the Winchester School of Pest Control, eh? It was the worst money I ever spent, but my house has been demon free…

Comments

shakespearelove 6

Friday 27 May 2016 7:13

Is it bad that I honestly thought you were going to say to ward off demons?

Bubblezx 12

Friday 27 May 2016 8:14

Extra fibre

Fenbrae 17

Friday 27 May 2016 14:12

Yes, i also hate it when the highly intelligent brainslugs from the Slugula Nebula try to enter my bedroom.

numbyhi 7

Friday 27 May 2016 18:32

I love this FML.

brittlesxo 5

Saturday 28 May 2016 5:12

I love how our fandom has come together to determine that snails are indeed demons. #teamfreewill

stormy0307 16

Sunday 29 May 2016 16:08

Perhaps try fixing your door so they can't get inside?

fictionaldiary 11

Sunday 19 June 2016 20:05

Are you seriously telling the world that you fully expected a SLUG to understand the concept of salt and that it would kill them, and then use that information to make the decision to not enter your home?

nanner6206 24

Thursday 23 June 2016 22:02

nooo....wait, wait. Did you put the salt in front of but INSIDE the door? At first, I understood it was just outside to keep them from getting in. I just read it again and you were going to the kitchen when you noticed. Whyyyy would you do it inside? The gooey mess just got nastier.