Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 006
You deserved it 3 459
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Top comments

sniken 14

I doubt the dog did it all by herself...

106 4

Comments

sniken 14

I doubt the dog did it all by herself...

106 4
XxDevilxXGt 26

No the neighborhood Mafia composed of a parakeet, 5 hamsters, a squirrel, and a pitbull is responsible for this!

36 4
sens3sfailing 24

The flaming dog shit in a bag is a really well known, commonly used prank. You do not need to cite your sources. If people don't get it, that sucks for them. For us of us who do get it, it only ruins the joke...

27 4
plum_lovin 28

I would have left a note on my door saying "Person who left crap at my door, what the hell did I do to you?" and see if I get a response... lol

2 1
joshiepo0 18

Good you have the ability to understand it. Now have the ability to understand that you don't have to post that you understood it.

46 9
howdeedoo 22

3-So much better than "that's a shitty situation." Thank you

29 6
SPRKY 6

My apologies for the shitty pun. I'll just bite my lip and hold it in next time.

20 4
asb818 14

Biting your lip is fine, but I don't recommend holding in your shit.

5 1
HortonThelephant 15

There is a stigmatized joke pertaining to shit and "it" getting real. Just wait for it..

51 2
nycwrestler 17

Real just got shit!

58 2
HortonThelephant 15

After reading ops' name and every comment, I have opted to threadjack myself, and propose that it WAS in fact The Mafia. Amish Mafia that is. and that was horse manure, not dog poop.

27 4
ChaoticBacon 6

The fecal matter has struck the rotational wind deflector.

39 2
Shmatterhorn 38

No, it impacted the forced air node in a particularly odiferous manner. ;)

2 12
sens3sfailing 24

That joke was comparable to animal excrement.

5 2
zebraumicornz 6

Hide yo kids hide yo wife cuz they putti dog shit everywhere

96 14
DustyStorm 16

Holy crap im glad that wasn't just me going wtf? You totally made me snort....

15 3
dancinwookie 21

*punches ya in the nuts* "You know what you did!"

58 9
Rddvl 11

Maybe it's time to invest in some security cameras?

41 5
Shmatterhorn 38

Maybe OP can get that material DNA tested? It might tell what breed of dog or cat it is.

0 11
TopBanana20 11

How will DNA testing help him figure out who he pissed off and how? -__-

10 0
tj5810 21

Or stop sleep walking.

1 6
matt98_fml 13

Maybe you could get a finger print test on the paper so you can track them down. Hopefully it was a mistake and not aimed towards you.

7 31
nycwrestler 17

They could step it up. They could get the dog shit print sent to a science lab, have them test the genetics, then put it through the world wide dog data base, and see which dog the shit belongs to.

46 3
Sputnikspak 13

Technically, there *is* a DNA database for dogs. It's in Toronto, Ontario, but sadly, it'll do little more than tell you what breeds of dog your dog is (basically, a mutt identifier). And you'll need a mouth swab and around $80.

11 1
jalapeno64 10

Ooooooooh! Shit's getting real!!!!

8 30