Love: Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of...

By Romantic - 15/01/2010 08:33 - United States

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 205

You deserved it 4 161

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 211

You deserved it 4 267

By mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - 03/09/2012 08:39 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 128

You deserved it 2 220

What the…?

By willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 294

You deserved it 8 318

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 355

You deserved it 6 228

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 167

You deserved it 2 911

The best laid plans…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 150

It's the thought that counts…

By Loveandpoetry - 31/05/2011 21:12

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 921

You deserved it 5 369

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 13:18 - United States - Allendale

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 231

You deserved it 44 110

By Anonymous - 24/11/2018 17:30

Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the front door to see my house was a complete mess. The first thing my son said was, "Did you bring pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 838

You deserved it 355

By waiterrrrrrrrr - 02/08/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 832

You deserved it 6 995

skyeyez9 24

Friday 15 January 2010 17:35

my husband tried to pull that shit on me once: Oh I invited some friends over so we need to get some more food. When he said "we" he really meant: I invited my friends over so I expect you to cook for them and clean up afterwards. What ever. He can cook for his own friends. I don't expect him to do that if I have my friends over our house.

perdix 29

Friday 15 January 2010 17:54

Don't get any food -- just lay naked on your bed with your legs spread wide, and when everyone comes over, yell "Tuna tacos for everyone!" On second thought, you can buy a massive amount of Vienna Sausages and tell everyone that they are actual size replicas of your husband's dick. That'll show him!

Comments

habesjn 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 1:18

Nah, see that's just funny is all that is. I bet your boyfriend is fun haha.

SumKid_fml 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 1:35

This FML has been used before; Today, I came home to find rose pedals strewn around the floor and candles lit everywhere. Thinking it was my boyfriend trying to get me in a romantic mood, I followed the pedals to my bedroom where I find my boyfriend having sex with my sister. FML.

spazz1824 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 1:42

haha. that's awesome.

icanfloat12 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 3:05

at sumkid, just cuz they have rosepedals doesnt mean they r the same

ily1210 10

Saturday 16 January 2010 3:14

dont know how this is an FML.

Tahsis 4

Saturday 16 January 2010 4:22

sexpistol 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 4:41

that's funny! i would think it was hilarious if this happened to me. maybe you're just too sensitive. p.s. petals?

jenwahh 1

Saturday 16 January 2010 8:53

you know, it also could have been that they needed more food in general, and he didn't want to be rude and leave his friends. but even if it was just him saying he needed food for his friends, if my boyfriend went to the trouble of the rose petals and everything then that probably means he does cute and sweet stuff a lot of the time and i wouldn't mind picking up some food.