By emopoe - 09/10/2013 18:25 - United States - Salem
I agree, your life sucks
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emopoe tells us more.
OP here. I can't live with a roommate, did that for 4 years and learned a lot about what happens when your roomie doesn't come up with their half of the rent, and lost way too many friends that way. It would be worse than what I'm dealing with now. Our apartment is already the cheapest in town, I don't have parents or friends to move in with. The bright side is, my boyfriend is NOT abusive. And to the nasty comments that say YDI for using him for money, I clearly stated we split the rent.
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bobo_the_bear
5
So your fu@&$ng him for half the rent. What does that make you?
the fml clearly says they SPLIT the rent
You almost sound like my ass-hole of a brother in laws girlfriend. If you live in Indiana you could very well be her. My advice move in with friends just try and get out fast :)
babyshaft408
8
Ya there's always a way. Don't let his money keep you together. I owned a house with a girl. At least u just rent.
you poor thing...
ninety
25
Unless you are in an abusive relationship, perhaps it is better to reevaluate why you think the relationship is bad and try to work things out. Or, if you want out that bad, be an adult and just talk to him. If he is abusive, then there are always resources available to help you out of a situation like that if you're willing to seek the help.
DAMN ! Lol that's all I can say.
OP here. I can't live with a roommate, did that for 4 years and learned a lot about what happens when your roomie doesn't come up with their half of the rent, and lost way too many friends that way. It would be worse than what I'm dealing with now. Our apartment is already the cheapest in town, I don't have parents or friends to move in with. The bright side is, my boyfriend is NOT abusive. And to the nasty comments that say YDI for using him for money, I clearly stated we split the rent.
frizz101
22
You can still break up, maybe sit down with him and talk about your relationship, and how things have changed from when you started dating, you may be surprised he might even feel the same way, and you can figure out the best way to end your relationship amicably. And even have enough time to figure out your living arrangements.
jw90
18
97 is right. If you're not happy you need to explain that to him. If he's mature enough he'll understand. Maybe you two can work something out and you can eventually save up enough to get your own place. I know cost of living is a lot. I've live alone for 3 years and struggled often. But managing your finances and making a budget plan will really help.
OP, even if he pays half the rent, if you stay with him just because you can't afford to live on your own, that is using him. The right thing to do is tell him. Even if you can't stand the idea of a roommate, you might have to until you get the ability to live alone. You are being selfish to stay with a guy you have no future with. Let him move on. Let yourself move on. I feel for you, I have been there, but I did the right thing. So can you. Good luck lady!
That's something I don't understand, OP. If you're SPLITTING rent, then you're not using him for money - you're both contributing. Either way, you do need to tell him what's up and end it.
What does OP mean?
Original poster
The point is that if she breaks up with him he will move out and she can't afford to pay the rent on her own. Ending the relationship could mean she has nowhere to live.
Just because you had bad experiences with roomies in the past, doesn't mean all are irresponsible. I think most if us understand it feels like an impossible situation. But there are options. Some may not seem ideal now. But if there is no hope of repairing the relationship, they are better then keeping you both from moving on.
I've been there. Sometimes you have to make the best of a bad situation. I actually started dating someone else while living with my ex - that gets a but weird.
#104 is exactly right. she isnt using him at all.
False. She clearly stated that she is only living with him because he pays half the rent. If he didn't give her x amount of money every month, she wouldn't be with him. That is the definition of using someone for money. Using someone for money does not necessarily mean you don't contribute. She may contribute, but she ONLY stays with him for his share of the rent. That's using him for money.
monnanon
13
115 she has no choice. op has stated she has nowhere else to go. also they are both paying rent for a flat or house that they share. that is not using him for money. they are both responsible for their half. as long as op is paying her half she is not using him for money.
Don't lose a friend. Find a roomie on Craigslist.
He's giving the landlord the money not her so that's one flaw in your logic. The other flaw is that it seems you're stating being with someone only when they do X is using them and following your logic that it's using to be with someone only if they do X then a gal is using a guy if she only stays with him if he doesn't hit her..o.O Using someone would be taking advantage of them as in having them do your share for you she's not taking advantage of him financially as as she also pays half the rent they're both contributing.
OP likely there are reasons he's staying with you that if you stop displaying he'd bail if he could be it your looks and you gaining weight/losing weight or sex and you 'withholding/denying' (if you're even still having sex considering you find the relationship bad). So to me it's tit for tat. I see no reason for you to struggle or be homeless over this when you're splitting the rent.
Klick
3
ok after reading this it definitely isn't him
I'm sorry. That is basically using him for money, whether you are splitting the rent or not. If you don't want to live with him or be with him, you should just leave him and get used to living with a room mate, or get a second job. YDI for keeping him in a relationship you no longer want to be in. Let him go so he can find someone who WANTS to be with him.
But, if you ARE in the cheapest place in town, and can't afford even that by yourself, you ARE using him for the rent money. Whether you want to admit it or not, that's the way it works. If you can't afford where you live by yourself, then you shouldn't live there. It's sort of a rule of thumb for finding a home. You live in Oregon, not downtown Manhattan or something. The living costs there are NOT that expensive... Saying you can't live with roommates cuz of this and that, it's an excuse. If you have friends, why not ask for a place to stay while you get your shit together and find a job that actually pays decently?
frizz101
22
Have you ever lived in the slums? If you have (which I doubt) you would understand why people "think its beneath them" as you say, it's crap, often should be condemned, and filled with drug users and criminals because that's all they could afford, no one should live in the slums, especially if a child is involved. And if minimum wage kept up with inflation minimum wage would be $21.85 not $7.25. So don't be saying that all people live above their means, if you have a good job congratulations, people in this economy can't always get good jobs to be financially stable.
Life is so very short, it's not fair on either of you. You need to think about what important and then talk to him.
tehdarkness
21
Quit making excuses to stay. You will get by somehow. A second job is better than a bs relationship.
you can still live together and split rent without dating....atleast until your lease is up.
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Find a share with a roommate. There are plenty of available rooms if you look for them.
You can still break up, maybe sit down with him and talk about your relationship, and how things have changed from when you started dating, you may be surprised he might even feel the same way, and you can figure out the best way to end your relationship amicably. And even have enough time to figure out your living arrangements.