Love: Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa,...

By Marou - 25/12/2008 01:54 - France

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 346

You deserved it 11 114

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 16:28 - United States - Portland

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 419

You deserved it 5 754

By Amore - 09/12/2014 19:15 - France - Bois-colombes

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 025

You deserved it 4 264

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By CalebNotShomo - 25/12/2014 15:25 - United States - Houston

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 374

You deserved it 2 829

Worth a shot

By Anonymous - 29/03/2020 17:00

Today, I told the guy I've been in love with for a year how I felt. He replied, "There will never be an us, but you can send nudes if you like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 269

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 012

You deserved it 6 151

By mikeyamazing - 28/12/2009 05:00 - France

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 488

You deserved it 4 799

Life ain't a movie, son

By Effwmn - 20/12/2022 09:00

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 264

Clear and precise

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 23:02 - Canada

Today, I wrote to the guy whom I am in love with to tell him how I feel about him. He was very calm and told me to give him some time to think it over. Later in the day, I found out he blocked my number and rejected me on Facebook. But, the worst part is he then texted me saying, "This is my reply". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 311

You deserved it 5 071

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 23:08 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 046

You deserved it 6 585

alley_cat_118 0

Friday 20 February 2009 13:23

I'm sorry, but that was a corny line. And I have heard (and used) my lion's share of bad pick-up lines.

jamers113 0

Sunday 23 August 2009 2:12

why's the guy you like santa? ..that's just odd.

Comments

alley_cat_118 0

Friday 20 February 2009 13:23

I'm sorry, but that was a corny line. And I have heard (and used) my lion's share of bad pick-up lines.

druggielove 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 3:50

ydi for believing in Santa

dannnn_fml 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 1:27

are you a library book? cause you've got fine written all over you!! :) haha pickup lines are cool

wowthatshorrible_fml 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 6:41

lol 16 win

FlickMyBean 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 3:43

If you want to, you never will.

TriflingAllDay 6

Saturday 30 June 2012 1:34

Thats an epic block on his part.

LyLa_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 1:50

Major douche bag. Sorry.

jdpwnsyou 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 22:33

Okay, first that was a terrible line on your part. Second, he could have let you down easier.

sabrage 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 7:38

Was he Jewish?

24788 6

Saturday 2 May 2009 7:13

That's just weird.

nazzy 1

Sunday 3 May 2009 20:14

why the hell woudl you do that, thats so stupid, seriuosly

thatonekid2010 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 7:11

Dangg Haha

tangerine_12 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 7:57

i dont know why but i think people from france have the worst FMLs. no offence.

jamers113 0

Sunday 23 August 2009 2:12

why's the guy you like santa? ..that's just odd.

Keywords

Neighbours Miscellaneous Awkward Lonely Wanker Halloween Jealousy Love Party Fight Family Argument Cats Animals Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings YouTube TikTok Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, I work as an executive assistant. My French boss wanted to do business with a big American customer, so he sent her an email suggesting a meeting. He copied me so that I could arrange said meeting. He had written, "Have your ass talk to my ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 120

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 296

You deserved it 2 147

The Top

Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 765

You deserved it 5 675

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 943

You deserved it 5 941

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 559

You deserved it 44 223

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 327

You deserved it 5 091

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 299

Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 528

You deserved it 63 305

Same thing different taste

Worth a shot

Life ain't a movie, son

Clear and precise

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