Animals: Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel,... - FML

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 103

You deserved it 10 934

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 15/05/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 18 088

By riddick0846 - 12/12/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 811

You deserved it 13 185

By vstan - 25/08/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 481

You deserved it 5 120

Pile on

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 618

You deserved it 12 685

By newly passed, newly grassed - 06/12/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 130

You deserved it 8 397

By Anonymous - 10/10/2010 04:29 - United States

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 498

You deserved it 13 893

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 142

You deserved it 243 955

I don't dare look

By TerribleAim - 12/10/2022 00:01

Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 095

Psycho

By Anonymous - 12/10/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 610

You deserved it 4 233

Traumatized

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 677

You deserved it 5 901

Next

Top comments

Schlimpikins 0

Friday 18 March 2011 15:58

You should have turned around and hit the first one for making you hit the second one.

elainelovesyou 7

Friday 18 March 2011 15:57

That must've been his wife. Well done.

Comments

mk58 31

Friday 18 March 2011 19:57

Also forgot to mention, DocBastard is another one of my favourite commentors... Those two are hilarious. And just because sometimes the comments aren't necessarily positive doesn't make them not funny.

grapist 0

Friday 18 March 2011 20:10

well that's not an fml, that's just a fail. it would be an fml though for the squirrel...if it was alive nvm. but for the other squirrel it would be a lml

my2centsworth 15

Friday 18 March 2011 20:40

Did you stop to give the squirrel CPR? I gather from the responses last time someone hit a squirrel and posted on this site that that would be the correct response.

my2centsworth 15

Friday 18 March 2011 20:40

Did you stop to give the squirrel CPR? I gather from the responses last time someone hit a squirrel and posted on this site that that would be the correct response.

squirrelkid 0

Friday 18 March 2011 20:48

ur a murderer.

ThatsAfurry 9

Friday 18 March 2011 20:50

THE ONLY ANIMAL YOU SHOULD EVER SWERVE TO AVOID IS A BEAR

kinga08 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 4:00

And a moose. I was camping in Maine with my family once when a moose ran out into the road and stopped right in the middle of it. The thing was practically the size of our car. If my father's car at the time had ABS, that moose and it's antlers would've crashed through the windshield and decapitated me or something.

carlosestrada1 4

Friday 18 March 2011 21:23

fate......

kykyshay 0

Friday 18 March 2011 21:37

RIP

quicheme45 0

Friday 18 March 2011 21:57

Oh well you tried right?

Dennisse_47 17

Friday 18 March 2011 22:08

haha yeah Boners' and Doc's comments are very funny to me and I look for them on FML's too. And if you don't like the comment or you are talking about how someone isn't funny, what's the problem?? Nobody is forcing you to read the comment and like it. Just move along and get on with your life. :)

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 15 067

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 090

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 922

You deserved it 3 081

Today, I went to my new dentist and before he started looking at my teeth, I told him my previous dentist had never found a single thing wrong with my teeth. After looking around, he chuckled humourlessly and called my last dentist idiotic. I now have a $580 bill and a root canal next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 536

You deserved it 5 382

Today, my mother told me that I could take a friend on vacation with us. Then she added that because I have no friends, my brother can bring his girlfriend instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 1 006

Today, my boyfriend and our so-called “friends” left us stranded at a park, when our phones and wallets were also missing. I had to walk nearly four miles in tears before I eventually got a ride from a stranger. Luckily, my phone was returned to my mom, but I’m still in tears from the distress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 530

Today, I received a detention because I threw up on the school nurse who wasn't going to send me home. According to her, stomach ulcers are not a true health issue, so there's no reason to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 318

You deserved it 2 284

Today, I was at my friend's house and accidentally blew out a candle that was supposed to be lit for seven days straight. It was in honor of her grandmother who had recently died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 761

You deserved it 14 786