Health: Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting...

By barbie - 18/05/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 757

You deserved it 10 606

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By klutz - 10/08/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 855

You deserved it 56 840

Sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 28/07/2019 14:00

Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 473

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 350

You deserved it 512

Bodyshaming

By auslander - 12/08/2009 20:13 - Switzerland

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 769

You deserved it 7 929

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 623

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 610

You deserved it 7 729

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 150

You deserved it 6 231

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 13:27 - Canada

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 965

You deserved it 3 897

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 1 821

scorpiogirl666 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:15

"what I assumed was him checking me out" stuck up much?

kristina3514 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:16

where does it say she's fat? She could just have a really scrawny boyfriend!

Comments

pee_my_pants 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 6:01

She's not stuck up. If someone was looking me up and down I wouldn't assume he was guessing my weight. FYL

mrmango 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 6:18

Get over it lol.

Pierre_Bojangles 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 6:23

owned

Im_that_girl 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 6:48

Totally agree with you #79. #67, I highly doubt you are actually a size 2. A size 14 is not huge. Some people just have bigger hips, or "bigger" body shapes but are not necessarily obese. I'm generally a size 11/12 and only weigh 140, certainly not "obese" for my height of 5'9.

ErinSaysHerro 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 7:19

AlexNeenan 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 8:27

To quote the genius Bo Burnham: "Having sex is like doing fractions: it's improper for the larger one to be on top." I hope you are not having improper sex with your boyfriend.

lolwut_fail 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 8:31

The fat arguments are getting old. If you're eating an obscene amount of food and have horrible health, you should stop eating damn Twinkies and do something about your health i.e. gym, diets, etc. Sure, there are some people that are curvy and eat healthy. Those people can just ignore the ZOMG YER FAT. JUST STOP EATING NOW. comments. Fat people need to get over the fat comments just as skinny people can't bitch about being called a stick. You are what you are, and if you want to change, change is always available to some extent. Now, Man Up or stfu. And for those of you spouting out various heights and weights, unless you know a BMI, it's hard to tell whether you're fat or not.

dyld921 2

Tuesday 19 May 2009 10:20

"Today, a guy called me fat. FML"

shaPOW 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 10:51

Why is everyone being so mean to the OP for assuming the lifeguard was checking her out? She was in a bathing suit, and the lifeguard was looking her up and down, so it wasn't that unreasonable an assumption. FYL