Animals: Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when...

By Anonymous - 03/03/2013 14:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 397

You deserved it 50 192

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Same thing different taste

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 9 201

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 383

You deserved it 1 121

By mhmohyeah - 10/11/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 776

You deserved it 18 471

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 23:17 - United States - Killington

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 898

You deserved it 5 658

Shooting!

By WittyMoron - 08/01/2020 01:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 3 480

By bouda - 15/05/2011 18:19 - France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 7 555

Look at that

By That escalated quickly - 24/06/2015 19:45 - United States - Ocean City

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 501

You deserved it 4 290

I don't dare look

By TerribleAim - 12/10/2022 00:01

Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 094

Alas, poor Kermit

By traumatizedforlife - 05/08/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 425

You deserved it 6 804

By RENThead - 13/09/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 865

You deserved it 1 606

TiggityTony 5

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:58

Fatality.

gc327072 30

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:59

Quietly bring it home and make an epic turkey breast sandwich!

Comments

manveersangha 4

Tuesday 5 March 2013 9:23

lunch meat

lordbane2110 14

Tuesday 5 March 2013 13:25

SUPER EFFECTIVE

DelphiCat 17

Wednesday 6 March 2013 2:26

I do hope you took it home and ate it. Waste not want not.

StayClassyLassy 6

Wednesday 6 March 2013 3:24

That's awful!

SnuWolf 15

Wednesday 6 March 2013 9:32

Can't really blame you. Those things drown if they look up while its raining.

ethereana 2

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:51

well that sucks. at least you gained a free Turkey for Thanksgiving and discovered a new hunting tecnique

wow6900 6

Friday 8 March 2013 4:43

That's awesome. Not 4 the turkey, but for u. I guess thanksgiving dinner is of the list.

KayleeKangaroo 0

Saturday 9 March 2013 6:31

We have a problem with wild turkeys in suburbs. They're really aggressive, will follow into homes or garages, destroy gardens, scratch cars, attack you and pets if feeling threatened, block roads (flocks of 10-20 birds!), and they breed like crazy. Turkeys can do real damage and are scary.