Miscellaneous: Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and...

By Deadcat101 - 10/07/2012 23:26 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 044

You deserved it 1 940

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 863

You deserved it 4 377

By sucks_brah - 25/12/2009 07:25 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 290

You deserved it 2 514

Get out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2014 17:24 - Germany - Würzburg

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 233

You deserved it 3 245

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 122

Denial

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 3 217

By myself - 30/01/2012 05:24 - Canada

Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother-in-law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 362

You deserved it 3 959

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 22:24 - Canada - Sackville

Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 092

You deserved it 2 017

By thatguy - 25/06/2011 07:47 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 746

You deserved it 2 989

By anonymous - 07/02/2012 09:27 - United States

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 291

You deserved it 2 348

maliki32 7

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:13

I feel so sorry for you, OP. Nobody should ever have to go through any of that!

GothicAngel17 24

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:25

Stupid woman, vibrators are expensive! (For those who are retarded, it's a damn joke)

Comments

Irishgypsy 2

Wednesday 11 July 2012 13:38

Did she piss on your cat as well??

parshal 2

Wednesday 11 July 2012 13:39

Eww u dont deserve a mother like tht

laden_swallow09 34

Wednesday 11 July 2012 13:56

It's "caught", every time. No such word as "catched".

AgaveLoco 5

Wednesday 11 July 2012 14:07

Maybe she wants a bigger vibrator

chupachup_fml 0

Wednesday 11 July 2012 15:11

her little boyfriend doesn't satisfy her enough -.- corrupted world

MexicanGinger 5

Wednesday 11 July 2012 16:25

BURN!!!!! xD

momo1972 3

Wednesday 11 July 2012 16:28

She's a keeper!!!! Lol

jim_bolicious 4

Wednesday 11 July 2012 16:50

Another example of why weed is better than booze

CamberwellCarrot 8

Wednesday 11 July 2012 16:50

Do you live in the Sunnyvale Trailer Park by any chance?

Nbrandwine 7

Wednesday 11 July 2012 17:24

One word. Rehab

Keywords

Weddings Awkward Miscellaneous My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 364

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 2 095

The Top

Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 934

You deserved it 16 230

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 796

You deserved it 5 375

Today, I finally realized that I have so much anxiety and stress, I would fail a polygraph test asking me my own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 149

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 263

You deserved it 3 293

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 261

You deserved it 8 253

Today, after my car died a mile from my house, I huffed, puffed and pushed it back to my house off the street, so I wouldn't get a ticket overnight. After getting it towed to the shop in the morning, I got a call telling me they put gas in it for me and it starts up fine now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 2 204

Same thing different taste

Get out

Denial

Top comments

Comments