Keep cool
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver
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By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver
By vmml97 - 01/08/2013 04:32 - United States - Erie
By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 18:07 - Egypt - Cairo
By mtr1594 - 31/07/2013 06:47 - United States - Henderson
Hey, it's me, OP. So this isn't the first time he's sleep talked before. Occasionally he'll moan, or like the other night, mutter something about eating Nutella. Anyway. This is the first time it scared the bejesus out of me and the first time he opened his eyes. Usually I ask him about it the next morning and he has no idea and wants to know what he said. This morning it was the same response. When I asked what he was dreaming about, he was dreaming that he was a bad ass drug lord apparently. I think we've been watching too much Weeds, the TV show...
By dareyale - 26/07/2013 06:10 - United States - Bessemer
Hey guys OP here. Well I love my grandma but she always decides to come in during the early hours of the morning. She's always been like this. This one time when I was younger she took me on a wild hunt for her boyfriend. We pulled up outside an old motel and there he was. In a car. With a Hooker. My grandma jumped out the car and took off. She pulled them both out the car and started beating him. Have you ever seen a Hooker take off so fast in heels?!
Hey. Firstly, I am Canadian, and in Ontario, you can carry a folding (not spring assisted or butterfly) knife, with a blade under 3 or 4 inches in length. You can look up the rules if you want. So yes, I was carrying it legally. And why do I carry a knife? Because I use it as a tool. It's not a weapon. I was in the forest, it was a tool. He said he needed it as a tool. I believed him, it's a logical claim. I can understand why it would seem like a ridiculously dumb idea to let someone borrow your knife, but you need to understand two things: I live in a small, Canadian town. I literally can not remember the last time anyone was attacked here, so I did not fear attack. Also, we were deep in the forest, where there are many reasons that one needs a knife. So, I let him use the knife because he said he needed it. I know it's kind of stupid, and I'm never lending out a knife again, but oh well. He seemed like a nice, polite, well put together guy. He didn't look like your typical mugger, so that's why I lent it out. He had obviously seen the clip of the knife, as I carry it clipped to the inside of my pocket, as that's the law where I live. And people saying "a woman in a forest, alone, lending out her knife to weird men.... bad idea", I agree. But, I'm not the type of woman you want to fight with, and I'm not some delicate woman alone and afraid. I can hold my own. But, I do have too much faith in humanity, and I trust people too much. As for people saying "track down your phone", I did. I live close to the forest, so I just ran back home and tracked the phone down. I had it back within a few hours. I lost the $70 in my wallet, but that's not much. He was a stupid thief. The police took care of him. And, by the way, I never got my knife back :( I'm gonna go buy another knife, and I'm never gonna lend it out again. In the end, it was scary (I've never been mugged before) and I lost $100 ($70 cash from my wallet, and the knife was worth $30 ish), but I've learned a lesson. Thanks, everyone. And yes, I know I deserved it!