By Cannot Unknow - 21/01/2017 16:00

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You managed to grab the most wanted chicken for yourself. You sly fox.
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You found all the eggs that were laid around FML. Happy incubating!
You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You looked for gold on FML. What more do you want, money?
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You've commented on an FML that you sent in
There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
You seem to be glued to FML. Shall we set a tent up for you to sleep in?
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
By Cannot Unknow - 21/01/2017 16:00
By Anonymous - 11/04/2016 07:25 - Canada - Edmonton
By Dnamei - 22/03/2016 14:17 - Belgium
By danielzcwu - 29/12/2014 19:11 - Taiwan - Taipei
Here's my original post on FB. FML condense make us condense it to 300 words :p aww man.. Just went through one of the most awkward moments of my life. I Just got off the plane from Taipei to hk, during the flight I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I can't remember what it was about. But, I think I was being attacked. So anyway, I started screaming in my dream, unfortunately that translated to screaming in reality as well. It was a loud scream as well cause it was enough to wake me up. The good and also funny thing is it wasn't just me screaming, there was this old lady sitting next to me, who I guess after I was screaming also started screaming.... It was like domino scream! Luckily I still had my eyes closed and realized it was too awkward and embarrassing to explain myself, I could hear people laughing behind me, beside me and in front.. So I just kept my eyes closed. Seriously , one of the most awkward moments I've been in, it took all my will power to continue pretending to sleep and self control not to laugh cause that old aunty screaming after I screamed was Damn funny... I did a muffled giggle when she was saying ... omg this boy scared me to death.. Luckily someone said quite loudly poor kid he must've had a nightmare.. Sigh.... FML
By disappointedjamaican - 31/08/2014 18:44 - United Kingdom - Coventry
OP here, made an account so I can answer some questions. My sister is 26, I'm 22. We got along pretty good, untill I met and married my husband and started a family. She lives with my parents, and is in a very bad relationship. When I met my husband, my sis tried to get me grounded (!) and tried to convince my parents not to let me see him. She also tried to blackmail me into not seeing him. She was against the marriage, and cried and screamed when she learned I was pregnant, saying I don't deserve what she doesn't have, claiming it won't be special when she has a baby because she wasn't the first to give my parents grandchildren (my parents don't think that way, they'll love every grandchild). My son is a very sweet and charming little guy, he sleeps through the night, is always happy, eats everything, rarely gets sick, crawls,... He's a very easy baby to care for, and everyone loves him and he loves everyone. The plan I found was in a notebook, while helping my parents clean out the attic. It included my husbands workschedule, and the days my son goes to daycare. Also what my son eats and his medical reccord. Her country of choice is Australia. A few days before this discovery, she asked me if she could take my boy to the zoo, alone. I refuses because he had a slight fever, and I'm very happy I did. My son has a kids-ID, my sister isn't allowed to be alone with him anymore, and I alerted the daycare to NEVER let her take him home. When I confronted her, she said it was just a joke, she was just 'messing with her little sister'. The notebook was hidden in a pile of schoolnotes, if we didn't clean the attic, we'd never know. Sorry for the long text, and sorry for my english. Ps: My dad was close to the airport when the bomb went of, but he didn't get hurt. My family and friends are scared and shaken, but safe. We mourn for the victims