bmatson1

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About Bmatson1

I am a 30-something college student and I am loving life. I am blessed to have great friends who keep me sane, as well as 3 dogs who love unconditionally (the occasional treat helps). I'm also grateful for this app so I can read about other people's stupidity and know that even though my life is far from perfect, my life is peaches compared to others who only have themselves to blame.

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This isn't what should be happening

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The return of the thumb

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

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One more and it's business time

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Bmatson1's favorite FMLs

The nickname that sticks

By ap84 - 27/02/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My teammates waved and said "BYE POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 855

You deserved it 5 628

By harrington61 - 19/05/2013 21:27 - United States - Midland

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 305

You deserved it 3 920

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 526

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 3 855

Don't accept every dare

By wheezy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 200

You deserved it 28 802