By misc - 08/02/2009 02:31 - United States
Knoffe
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About Knoffe
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It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
YDI Master
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
Judgmental
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
50 favorites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
100 kick-ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
Knoffe's favorite FMLs
But they're so cuuuuute
By britanyann - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States
Woozy
By Dunzo15 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States
Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.