jchantale

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By Judiee - 28/02/2009 10:52 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at a family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4 year-old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say, "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 893

You deserved it 5 776

Mario Kart is serious business

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 05:44 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 846

You deserved it 8 600

By akaka - 14/07/2014 13:38 - United States - Youngstown

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 350

You deserved it 12 079

akaka_fml tells us more.

akaka_fml 14

Tuesday 15 July 2014 7:49

Hi, I am the OP. Check my profile to see that it is confirmed. Anyways I am not attached right now, he was 15 and I am 18. I didn't like the age difference. Anyways he did turn around and wink at me. Then walked away. You don't have to believe me but here is the truth.

By FMyBrain - 06/06/2014 21:26 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 508

You deserved it 6 042

Enough with the puns

By fuckmuppet - 27/05/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 744

You deserved it 7 484