jessjessjess_fml

miss

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London, England
34 years-old
Saturday 20 October 1990
Not specified

About Jessjessjess_fml

I'm generally a walking failure

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One more and it's business time

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Jessjessjess_fml's favorite FMLs

By tool - 09/04/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 908

You deserved it 143 195

By eeh - 07/05/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 103 460

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, I had my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 350

You deserved it 21 996

Emergency

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 303

You deserved it 20 895

By Betsydoll - 29/03/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 610

You deserved it 26 298