ArmoredSandwich

About Armoredsandwich

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Armoredsandwich's favorite FMLs

5-star meal

By storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 644

You deserved it 10 789

By Lo - 15/04/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, my friend drove me me to catch the 8 pm train. Running late, we screeched into the parking lot at 7:57, stopped the car in a 'no stop' zone. I said goodbye to my friend, sprinted to my train and barely made it. Then, with the train in motion, I noticed my friend's car keys in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 048

You deserved it 19 691

Lohbj tells us more.

Lohbj 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 8:07

ATTENTION: I AM THE ONE WHO POSTED THIS FML 1. I think it's hilarious how many of you think it is fake. 2. If you've ever posted on FML before, you'll know you can only put 300 characters which means details are left out. 3. We were running so late that my friend ran inside to scan my ticket (I bought online so I had to get the actual ticket from the counter) while I got all my bags from the car. I grabbed the keys out of the car because I met her in the lobby to exchange keys for tickets (I didn't want her car to sit there running in the middle of the street.) We were so flustered about catching the train , I snatched the ticket and took off running for the train. We didn't even realize we didn't switch back the keys. FML

By meteorbabe0101 - 14/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800 008

You deserved it 65 857

By anonymiss - 13/04/2009 16:12 - Canada

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 816

You deserved it 25 476

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 048

You deserved it 13 052