By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 09:23 - Canada - Sechelt

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 09:23 - Canada - Sechelt
By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 07:45 - Australia - College Park
By Hormones apparently - 08/12/2015 02:32 - United States - Westerville
By Ishikur - 03/02/2016 13:33 - Canada - Airdrie
By SexxiKitty - 19/12/2015 22:45 - United States - San Francisco
Hey everyone! OP here hoping to give you all some clarity! First off, I wasn't high but I was tired and I wasn't wearing my glasses. I live on a farm in the middle of bumble-**** nowhere and we have a small tree, about 5'6" tall, a little ways off our back porch. It was about 2:00 a.m. and my young daughter had gotten sick on her sheets so I was running to put them in the washing machine (which is in the barn) so that they wouldn't stain. I heard a rustling sound and I thought I saw a person moving out of the corner of my eye. Without my glasses and the fact that it was really dark mixed with my overall anxiety because my husband wasn't home caused me to drop the sheets and run back into the house to protect my kids. I know it's stupid and really horrible that I wasted precious resources on something so trivial but I was terrified. My husband is the head of a very small drug task force and even though we live in a pretty sleepy town, he still gets threats now and again. Furthermore we recently moved from Sacramento because I was almost kidnapped about 2 years ago while I was walking home from the park with my kids and I didn't want to take ANY chances. I was treated with respect by the great officers who came out and my husband was immediately notified. He wasn't able to come home right away but one of his off duty officers came by and stayed on the couch the rest of the night. Thank you all for the well wishes and I appreciate all the great puns!! :)