Miscellaneous: Dad jokes

Dad jokes

By Anonymous - 10/10/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said, "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 225

You deserved it 27 878

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Same thing different taste

By Tymer - 23/11/2012 15:56 - Canada - Malahat

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 745

You deserved it 3 830

By selfesteemboost - 27/01/2012 17:14 - Belize

Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 102

You deserved it 3 123

By RBHSWedgieGirl - 23/01/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 36 045

By BadLuckCarson - 12/02/2013 05:55 - United States - Muscatine

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 787

You deserved it 3 728

By chlolivia - 14/02/2012 00:28 - Canada

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 737

You deserved it 4 392

Pick me!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2021 17:01

Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 1 934

By Jennagirl - 12/10/2009 14:03 - Australia

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 445

You deserved it 3 747

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 21:38 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 289

You deserved it 2 399

Dad! No!

By Ginger - 08/07/2017 16:30 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I got married. My dad wanted to see me before the ceremony in my dress. The dress I wore was not my usual kind of dress, strapless. The first thing my dad said, "Ginger! You've got boobs!" Not exactly the father-daughter moment I'd envisioned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 156

You deserved it 541

By Chubs - 29/03/2009 12:32 - Norway

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 332

You deserved it 11 648

damnalltheasshol 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 1:29

o wow I'm sorry but that's hilarious

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Tuesday 11 October 2011 1:30

Well, it IS false advertisement.

Comments

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:21

that's so mean of him. he could have held his laugh in.

Milk_Moon 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:23

Sorry OP but that did make me chuckle C:

ArielTheMermaid 17

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:25

Sorry but thats hilarious

AmazingLadyy13 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:28

Don't wear those, it suggests that you are insecure about your body. And I promise you no guy wants to be lied to about breast size.

Cheylea 10

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:28

He's the most awesome dad ever! I salute him.

neilph 4

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:35

new favorite!

drawmesunshine 17

Tuesday 11 October 2011 5:52

Like when you bring home some fine bitch from the club only to discover that 40% of her is padding. Yeah, that truth hurts.

SkardeyKat 3

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:36

Lol that is hilarious! Sounds like something my dad would say. Sometimes the truth hurts, though!

MhmmGirl 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:38

haha no offense but it's 100% true.

Anubis_81 21

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:38

Haha. That's funny. How small are they?

BD_Swingin 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 3:40

My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard..

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Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 28

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 442

You deserved it 4 300

The Top

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 124

You deserved it 5 888

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 336

You deserved it 24 849

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 070

You deserved it 90 129

Today, I finally accepted I need help with my anxiety issues. I started small and I joined a support forum and wrote a post. I was quickly called a troll by multiple users, accused of faking it, and told to "fuck off back to Tumblr" because they wouldn't believe my anxiety is really so serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 947

You deserved it 3 797

Today, I was diagnosed with chronic vomiting. I've gone to 7 doctors and tried 13 different medicines, with none of them working. I've gone to therapy and taken up yoga with no change. So apparently, throwing up daily at random times is the new normal for me. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 759

You deserved it 1 211

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 134

You deserved it 3 845

Dad jokes

Same thing different taste

Pick me!

Dad! No!

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