Intimacy, Sex and Miscellaneous: Good question

Good question

By epictothemax - 10/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue stud and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin said, "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 123

You deserved it 13 202

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 04:17 - United States

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 715

You deserved it 4 022

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 10:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 943

You deserved it 9 589

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 23:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 493

You deserved it 36 767

Sorry grandma

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 17:01

Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 161

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 928

You deserved it 31 037

By ohmygod - 20/06/2013 05:49 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 391

You deserved it 8 453

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 12:16 - Australia

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 701

You deserved it 3 271

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 111

You deserved it 439

By mee - 02/01/2016 08:25 - United States - Opelousas

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 403

You deserved it 3 824

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 945

You deserved it 2 613

lolajelly 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:24

LMAO i just want to keep up the pattern of starting the comments with LMAO

dang_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:09

LMAO! smart kid

Comments

dang_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:09

LMAO! smart kid

Ninja666_fml 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 3:26

completely agree with 1

TrollHunter 0

Friday 2 July 2010 21:18

hahaha I like ******* children

aulds 0

Friday 23 July 2010 18:28

agree with 1

Person000 0

Friday 22 October 2010 5:56

LMAO agree with 1

Chris968 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:13

LMAO that is the best thing I ever heard. What did you grandma say to that?

brittanyrmh_ 12

Tuesday 30 October 2012 3:45

She probably had an aneurysm right there and then

dwights 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:16

LMAO! had to start it the same way the last 2 people did. but ya smart kid. she will be very smart by the time shes your age ;) wow jk that was bad ahaha :P

ryguy1997 0

Saturday 3 April 2010 8:19

no 9 years=grade 4 they know more than you think. some grade threes around here watch ****. o_0 LOLZ creppy...

gangstaco_ol 3

Saturday 23 July 2011 21:14

I started watching **** in grade 5, I was young so didn't really have the good **** sites, so I just checked out scenes from YouTube :p I started actually jacking off to them in grade 9 , didnt know about jacking off before then, had never tried it haha

lolajelly 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:24

LMAO i just want to keep up the pattern of starting the comments with LMAO

evan_789 7

Tuesday 9 February 2010 13:01

LMAO this is fun lolz.

MassiDelta 28

Thursday 6 August 2015 15:28

LMAO

ashleyyy_08 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:26

hahahaha...i definitley had no idea what that meant when i was 9

Sleep_EyEs16 0

Monday 3 May 2010 13:09

you broke the chain 

mahimalil 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 4:17

y did u break the chain !!!! :_( :_( :_(

revanche 2

Wednesday 15 June 2011 4:37

CCCCCOmbo breaker

neonoodle 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:27

where do kids learn these things?

lolol182 4

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:29

thats what you get for showing your cousin ****?

epictothemax 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:32

lol my grandma about had a heart attack and my cousin was yelled at for a while. turns out she walked in on her babysitter going down on her boyfriend and put 2 and 2 together. it was really really bad