Love, Relatable and Intimacy: Quick, hide!

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 931

You deserved it 18 641

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 035

You deserved it 45 838

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 378

You deserved it 8 734

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 957

You deserved it 28 270

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 23:54 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 26 607

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 643

You deserved it 34 719

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 635

You deserved it 39 387

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 164

You deserved it 6 258

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 952

You deserved it 71 766

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 451

You deserved it 6 192

By Anonymous - 29/10/2011 07:43 - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 460

You deserved it 23 817

genius_man16 0

Monday 24 August 2009 16:41

WHY would you do that anyway? Wouldn't it be a little suspicious for her dad to come home and then you immediately knock on the door afterward? YDI

dayrin7 4

Monday 24 August 2009 16:50

" hey i was loooking for that!" lmfaooo

Comments

KillU2009 0

Monday 24 August 2009 22:06

you shoulda gone back in the house and nailed the shit out of her, that'd be rock and roll.

Hay_bugs_0722 0

Monday 24 August 2009 22:56

I can't decide whether YDI or FYL I mean YDI for leaving them there in the first plae but then again FYL you prob won't get to see her for a while.

aaaaa12345_fml 0

Monday 24 August 2009 23:22

wow, you have to sneak around to make out hahaha

x_Leopard_x 1

Monday 24 August 2009 23:57

Lol. XD

moonlight_daze 8

Tuesday 25 August 2009 0:36

YDI for dating a girl who knows her living father.

kindofgocrazy 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 0:59

"Oh, so I did leave my shoes here, thanks, Mr. ____." And if he asks, just say you're barefoot because you couldn't find any other pairs of shoes.

shootingstar8D 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 1:04

Ydi hahaha lmfao

longday13 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 1:08

fyl sorry dude I feel ur pain happened to me too -_- I know it's not fun!

jonny2x4 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 1:11

BUSTED!!!!!!!

moonlight_daze 8

Tuesday 25 August 2009 1:35

I know, right?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I received an email from my insurance company about a claim that happened over a month ago when I hit someone from behind. I was very apologetic and stated it was my fault, and now they're trying to claim replacement vehicle costs. I was going under 10mph and their car only had a scratch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 726

You deserved it 492

Today, I had to watch as the girl I love got her heart stomped to pieces once again. She had turned me down because apparently I’m not “her type”. She doesn’t understand that I will worship the ground she walks on, and give her the world and more. Her type must be abusers and cheaters then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 955

The Top

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 256

You deserved it 36 927

Today, I asked my ex-boyfriend how things were going since our breakup. We broke up because he admitted he was questioning his sexuality, and wanted to play for the other team. He took the conversation as an opportunity to talk about his new, amazing girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 892

You deserved it 4 742

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 913

You deserved it 15 153

Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 158

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 979

You deserved it 4 696

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 008

You deserved it 13 610