Health, Relatable, Clumsy and Cute: Same!

Same!

By o…… - 31/08/2023 20:00

Today, at the age of 27, I still can’t so much as look at a marker without getting marker on my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 188

Cyber Monday: Clicks and Quiproquos
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Same thing different taste

By argh - 20/03/2012 08:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 108

You deserved it 33 478

Getting on a bit

By Anonymous - 01/03/2022 12:00 - Germany - Leer

Today, I’m at that glorious age where I have to pull apart my wrinkles to get at the zits hiding inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 107

Hassle free

By Lana - 26/04/2022 22:00

Today, every time I think of having any children, I remember that an idiotic neighbor let her kids paint all over my car with permanent marker, so I eventually forget about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 129

Memento

By annie - 31/12/2020 02:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, at the age of 24, the only way I can remember anything at all is if I repeat it over and over again like a mantra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 99

Where am I?

By sam - 15/05/2021 00:01

Today, same as always, I still have to take a moment to distinguish between right and left. I’m 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 319

Freeze peach

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 22:30

Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 272

By mafiaguy800 - 27/08/2019 14:00

Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 152

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 688

Piss poor performance

By kelsey - 02/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, if I need to pee, I have less than a minute to get to a toilet before I pee myself. It’s been like that since I was a kid and my family won’t stop making fun of me for not growing out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 113

Fear Factor

By Cowgirl1293 - 26/08/2021 00:01

Today, at 28 years-old, I broke the first ever bone in my body. I broke a metacarpal in my hand by going down an inflatable waterside at a children's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 163

RichardPencil 30

Friday 1 September 2023 3:34

Hold the marker in your teeth. Problem solved!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 31 August 2023 23:37

I'm the same. Except instead of a marker, it's the blood of my latest sacrifice. Wait...

Comments

Thaylok 17

Thursday 31 August 2023 20:05

I feel ya! I have a hate- hate relationship with sticky notes

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 31 August 2023 23:37

I'm the same. Except instead of a marker, it's the blood of my latest sacrifice. Wait...

RichardPencil 30

Friday 1 September 2023 3:34

Hold the marker in your teeth. Problem solved!

Keywords

Weird Underwear Clothes Miscellaneous Cute Halloween Dogs Animals Fire Awkward First Dates Smells Love Work Scary Phobias Shopping Kids Embarrassing Mental health Therapy Friends Health Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Customers Thief Argument

The Top

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 264

You deserved it 3 729

Today, I learned that my friend had parties all summer without me. I wasn't even invited once. Why ? Because I didn't send a message. My bad, I didn't know I could've have sent a message to attend parties I didn't know were happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 162

The Top

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 998

You deserved it 10 554

Today, I found my concert tickets that I've been trying to find for the last 2 weeks in my mom's closet. When I asked why she had them, she said she felt the concert was inappropriate for me so she hid them. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 304

You deserved it 6 641

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 331

You deserved it 6 355

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 675

You deserved it 1 849

Today, I updated my list of "quit smoking rewards" to include new clothes. New clothes to fit my new voluptuous body, because the question of how I used to stay thin has been answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 858

You deserved it 648

Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 441

You deserved it 5 246

Same thing different taste

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