Kids: Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the... - FML

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 553

You deserved it 3 996

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Same thing different taste

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 072

You deserved it 6 012

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 798

You deserved it 3 657

By CatLady - 06/01/2014 19:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 213

You deserved it 9 641

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 227

You deserved it 3 513

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 262

You deserved it 6 676

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 014

You deserved it 4 379

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 964

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 791

You deserved it 25 001

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 921

You deserved it 830

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 693

You deserved it 54 418

Next

Top comments

CreamGravy 36

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:51

I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"

Welshite 39

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:49

Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.

Comments

fabcade 14

Thursday 12 February 2015 4:43

wow what a jerk. leave him. what he did could and should be considered abuse.

KBear3109 29

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:17

That IS abuse, how can no one see that?!

KBear3109 29

Saturday 14 February 2015 3:53

So if I kick my husband in the balls and make a joke about it that makes it okay because I was just joking? It's called assault!

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:24

If my boyfriend did that to me, I would shoot him in the dick about 5 times.

PrincessLily8402 11

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:25

I hope you shot him five times in the nuts!

feven 32

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:29

"You know what. Let's adopt instead sweetie. As soon as possible."

game0ver_fml 18

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:33

I would have taken a couple of steps back, and blasted one right at his mouth, then be like, "You still want blow jobs?" (Assuming you aren't using a super high velocity gun. Not trying to do any permanent damage.)

luststarrr 22

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:36

A dude with that little respect for the vag shouldn't be allowed near it. Ever.

Zetaglobin 5

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:37

Shoot him in the balls

Nina825 21

Thursday 12 February 2015 6:25

Shot back at him by saying "not from you"

angelofsaturn 23

Thursday 12 February 2015 6:27

His all access vag pass has been revoked. He didn't damage anything did he OP?

missbrit818 20

Thursday 12 February 2015 6:44

Oh wow... That had to hurt. That was rude of him, sorry op!

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Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

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Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 873

You deserved it 3 512

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 985

You deserved it 4 280

Today, I asked someone to work with me because I felt sorry for her. Turns out, she isn't at all helpful and refuses to work after school, just because she would miss her "beauty nap". She also made up dumb excuses for why she couldn't help me or the others. I wonder why no one wanted to be in a group with her… FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 140

Today, I took part in a charity run for a good cause. I'd trained for months and showed up, only to trip and fall flat on my face at the starting line. I spent the rest of the race with scraped knees and a bruised ego. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 138

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 664

You deserved it 5 814

Today, I'm on holiday, but my alarm clock isn't. It rang at 6 o'clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 353

You deserved it 47 066