Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking...

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 944

You deserved it 14 580

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 3 469

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 725

You deserved it 5 663

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 058

You deserved it 5 171

By Great. - 18/05/2012 15:05 - United States - Billings

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 005

You deserved it 5 338

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 005

You deserved it 4 670

So generous

By noway - 10/08/2011 17:47 - Singapore

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 153

You deserved it 7 102

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 402

You deserved it 49 337

Enticing

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 267

You deserved it 9 626

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 856

You deserved it 6 305

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 655

You deserved it 8 430

sunshyne84_fml 0

Monday 14 March 2011 23:13

actions speak louder than words

Adorlee 11

Monday 14 March 2011 23:35

Than he should eat you out to prove his love

Comments

maddysaidthat 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 3:32

this is fake.. I've read this one before

Gabbymcbride 2

Tuesday 15 March 2011 3:38

WELL ain't he a keeper??

ZeroTheHero 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 0:15

lol Ohh Yeahh! (sarcasm)

crizzy101 5

Tuesday 15 March 2011 3:47

that's the same thing mine said to me!!

caguilar21 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 3:48

Make him a sandwich while you're at it.

Maflagulator 1

Tuesday 15 March 2011 4:26

Spit or swallow?

NinjaMuffin1234 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 4:30

well you know Legs Open Very Easy right? so duh he'd ask you for a *******!

blaine72 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 4:35

well, that blows :(

About3goats 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 5:03

you're my idol

1234USMC 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 5:05

nice bitches suck and good girls swallow - murs haha

BlowJobGirllll 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 5:19

I don't understand why girls hate giving head. I think it's fun as hell.

superbones 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 5:30

I bet you do!

Keywords

Neighbours Cops Weird Miscellaneous Scary Stressed out Parents Health Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work My ex LGBTQIA+ First Dates Love Facebook Social Media Sex Intimacy Virginity Painful School Tinder Awkward Dating Coworkers AITA Jealousy Anxiety

The Top

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 393

You deserved it 3 447

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 476

You deserved it 3 719

The Top

Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 2 606

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 2 866

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years announced that he is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for 'at least' another 2 years. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people, I said yes, and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 218

You deserved it 2 865

Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show, and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half-naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 021

You deserved it 3 399

Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 862

You deserved it 1 122

Today, I realized while paying bills on my phone I fat-fingered which credit card I was paying and sent 299 to a paid-off card instead of 200 to another one. Now I'm going to have overdraft fees too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 437

Same thing different taste

So generous

Enticing

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