Kids: Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my...

By bubbalicious - 13/08/2009 20:57 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 87 019

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Same thing different taste

By LovesHisHand - 20/09/2009 20:55 - United States

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 919

You deserved it 9 941

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 05:54 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 347

You deserved it 11 267

Judgmental much!?

By Stairway2Heaven - 02/03/2009 21:03 - Canada

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 660

You deserved it 19 449

By ohemgee23 - 19/02/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 559

You deserved it 20 753

By joe - 23/06/2013 23:36 - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 695

You deserved it 8 615

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 414

You deserved it 3 890

By Tymer - 23/11/2012 15:56 - Canada - Malahat

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 750

You deserved it 3 832

By tawnaciousd - 10/09/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 153

You deserved it 5 059

By Anonymous - 25/12/2011 07:28 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 993

You deserved it 4 999

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 386

You deserved it 103 229

xNatsuki 0

Friday 14 August 2009 1:01

Your sister is so cute. YDI for bragging.

Say_hi 0

Friday 14 August 2009 0:59

Lol! That is funnier than crap. Poor you. :P

Comments

EndZone 0

Friday 14 August 2009 1:24

I doubt she was planning on losing her virginity again ... since it can only be lost once..

Vasir 2

Friday 14 August 2009 1:28

I found it i found it! Oh wait that's not it...

mordantennui 0

Friday 14 August 2009 1:28

kids say the darnest things!

Nonamerequired 0

Friday 14 August 2009 1:31

This is amazing! :D

person1000003 0

Friday 14 August 2009 1:35

Hahahahah LOL so funny

AAAAHHHH12 2

Friday 14 August 2009 1:35

Oh where oh where has my virginity gone? Oh where oh where could it be?

luvs2splooge42 0

Friday 14 August 2009 1:38

greatest. fml. ever.

ToketokeOnelove 0

Friday 14 August 2009 1:40

I think it might be those little cards that are in wallets when you first buy them.

lacedheadbands 0

Friday 14 August 2009 1:42

LMFAO.

LariiPerson 0

Friday 14 August 2009 1:44

LMAO

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Underwear Dogs Animals Halloween Cute Fire Awkward Love First Dates Smells Scary Phobias Work Embarrassing Kids Shopping Health Friends Therapy Mental health Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Thief Customers TV shows

The Top

Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 007

You deserved it 14 245

Hi gang! My name is Julien and I’m very happy to be with you for this week’s brand new illustrated FML. I’m so happy, I feel like rolling about like a turtle. This week, we’re trying something different. As you may know, FML was originally ...

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 12

The Top

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 461

You deserved it 8 860

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 462

You deserved it 4 895

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 022

You deserved it 11 436

Today, I had my German oral exam. It was going well, until halfway through I did the biggest burp I could have ever imagined. I don't even know how to say sorry in German. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 215

Today, my husband told me he's just "not interested" in having sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 190

You deserved it 1 736

Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 970

You deserved it 391

Same thing different taste

Judgmental much!?

Why would you do that?

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