ADHD, Wanker and Intimacy: Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons...

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 06:18 - Canada

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADHD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 134

You deserved it 6 334

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

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Same thing different taste

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 147

You deserved it 9 052

ADHD brain

By Giggity - 04/12/2022 21:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my attention deficit has gotten so bad that I started watching Family Guy on YouTube to avoid doing any work, then ten seconds later I got bored, grabbed my phone, and looked up "sexy cartoon porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 1 127

By jakeeey - 18/01/2013 01:16 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 200

You deserved it 10 937

By sad-boing - 02/10/2015 21:01 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 965

You deserved it 6 914

Love Story

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 19:59

Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 1 951

Fitness for duty

By Anonymous - 10/12/2024 11:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I fucked up by jacking off. I have trouble getting "in the mood" due to medication and other things, so when I do I'm excited to enjoy myself, though it often takes a while and a lot of physical effort to get there. However, in the process of getting off today, I threw out my back and my hip. I'm only 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 162

Concentrate

By why am I like this?! - 24/02/2023 04:00

Today, stress makes my ADHD skyrocket. I lost focus while rubbing one out and didn’t realize I forgot to finish while I was doing the dishes. When I went to my room to try to get the job done, I lost focus again and ended up doing laundry. Not exactly the load I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 471

One track mind

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 22:00

Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 415

Bang one out

By exhausted without relief - 08/02/2023 14:00

Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 31/05/2011 11:21

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 780

You deserved it 69 874

perdix 29

Wednesday 21 December 2011 11:58

I thought Marge's blue pubes would help you get to the finish line.

MrHomerSimpson 11

Wednesday 21 December 2011 14:40

Don't say that about my wife.

Comments

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:06

49- I'm not ******* emo so stop trolling u fag

ewputthataway 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:10

I like candycanes.

Okayitwasme 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:28

Viagra.... Won't matter if you get distracted. You can go back to it. LoL

Stoneyyay 5

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:36

epic win 67

Torva_fml 16

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:34

Why are you all freaking ou..... CAT!!!!!

mamasait 1

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:10

Everyone has that ADD these days.

hellokatie8 5

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:23

A spectacularly PURPLE ostrich :}D

SandiRainbowFish 20

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:36

I don't see why everyone is -hey look a sled

hellbilly205 17

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:48

Op, the simpsons being yellow, and you wanking it should not go together i mean come on who.... oooh look a shiny nickel!

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:49

-______- tragic

xk75 4

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:58

Maybe my expectations are high, but OP, you posted from Canada. Surely you can get reasonably affordable medical attention, soon, for your problem. Good luck!