Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for...

By michellenKG - 23/01/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 212

You deserved it 2 644

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Happy birthday

By Leah Magers - 27/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 101

Happy…

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 383

You deserved it 3 555

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 158

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 99

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 012

You deserved it 7 974

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 687

You deserved it 91 585

By dentistftw - 08/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 982

You deserved it 2 901

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 140

You deserved it 4 170

By oh well - 10/03/2015 13:27 - United States

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 806

You deserved it 8 438

By Kensie - 04/03/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 767

You deserved it 5 987

jellitonoctopus 19

Monday 23 January 2012 12:03

Needles to say you did not go, right?

Glitterhinoceros 14

Monday 23 January 2012 12:06

Needles have never been the same after that Final Destination movie...

Comments

Foxy_On_Fire 21

Monday 23 January 2012 17:47

It's my birthday to!! 1/23/90 and I'm 22 today. I woke up to my dog and a dead bird. Happy birthday!

eli352 0

Monday 23 January 2012 17:56

Hey at least someone thought of you. Lol.

lilboybleau56 1

Monday 23 January 2012 20:01

My birthday too so sorry

EduJav321 24

Monday 23 January 2012 20:20

Acupunture.... See if you can exchange for a massage

anettes 7

Monday 23 January 2012 20:35

aww, well, happy birthday . heh

mama2b3 20

Monday 23 January 2012 21:27

Your sister's a bitch.

MorePewpewLessQQ 5

Monday 23 January 2012 21:31

Happy birthday! :)

ilove80smetal 8

Monday 23 January 2012 21:46

Sack up pansy. It'll help your stress go away.

instinctlove 1

Monday 23 January 2012 23:33

It's my birthday too!!! And I just got some roses and a Jessica Simpson jacket. Single too we have that in common lol Happy Birthday!

soccercreator7 3

Monday 23 January 2012 23:36

Like Dr.pepper, "trust me, I'm a doctor".

Keywords

Weird Underwear Miscellaneous Clothes Cute Halloween Animals Dogs Fire Awkward First Dates Smells Love Work Scary Phobias Shopping Kids Embarrassing Mental health Therapy Health Friends Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Customers Thief Argument

The Top

Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 972

You deserved it 5 951

Today, I'd gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said, "Your phone's been buzzing." I had a text saying, "You're grounded" from my Dad. My "Take your birth control" had been going off for a half an hour while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 057

You deserved it 31 889

The Top

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 077

You deserved it 12 615

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 823

You deserved it 4 037

Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 059

You deserved it 2 345

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 435

You deserved it 4 847

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 564

You deserved it 2 931

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 314

You deserved it 33 975