Love: Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of...

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 159

You deserved it 7 019

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 913

You deserved it 4 497

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 904

You deserved it 6 672

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 832

You deserved it 4 847

Do it again

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 223

You deserved it 3 198

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 252

You deserved it 2 998

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 107

You deserved it 3 496

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 12:11 - United States - Brevard

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 678

You deserved it 4 725

By SaMike - 01/09/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 733

You deserved it 4 738

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 894

You deserved it 5 125

Bad timing, dude

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 07:59 - Australia

Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 139

yoursavinggrace 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 1:17

Aw, you guys are so disgusting together.

0___0 9

Saturday 28 February 2009 10:45

lol keep that to yourself next time :~

Comments

cndrow 0

Monday 9 February 2009 23:14

That's.. so weird and so endearing at the same time. Sounds like myself and my love. -__-

ilovefatcats 12

Monday 5 April 2010 20:03

that's so…nasty :@

yoursavinggrace 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 1:17

Aw, you guys are so disgusting together.

xtfauthorx 0

Saturday 5 June 2010 21:10

hey! it's true love!!

0___0 9

Saturday 28 February 2009 10:45

lol keep that to yourself next time :~

Megstah 0

Friday 6 March 2009 5:19

awh true love haha

zzz_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:03

cute!

duckpsy 2

Wednesday 25 March 2009 4:16

Hahah #3

saffire89 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 3:10

you guys are so gross together its not really cute, glad you accept eachother

MukyDaCookie 0

Friday 3 April 2009 5:39

UUGGHH!!!!! Wow! She was ok with it? If someone sneezed a glob of snot of me, I would freak out and probably not go near them for a while.

hobosaresexy 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 8:17

aww you're a prude. I've done embarassing stuff like that with my boyfriend and neither of us care. we're comfortable with each other.

clairebear1234 0

Friday 17 April 2009 2:02

Ohh. Thats a bit gross. At least you guys are on the same page though..

NicGstfsn23 0

Monday 20 April 2009 2:09

aw thats kinda cute.. in a awkward wayy

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The Top

Today, I was ready to get intimate with my husband 7 months after giving birth to our son. He always made excuses as to why he couldn’t. Our marriage was on the rocks because of this, so when I sat him down to talk he admitted that to save this marriage I need to get a “tummy tuck” and a “breast lift.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 234

Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 398

You deserved it 363

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 442

You deserved it 1 518

Today, after I skipped dessert for the third day in a row, my mom cornered me and accused me of being anorexic. I'm actually not far off being clinically obese and I'm just trying to diet, but nothing I say will convince her. She wants me to see a psychiatrist about a disorder I don't even have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 580

You deserved it 824

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked, "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 976

You deserved it 7 709

Today, after we had our daughter on purpose, then had twin girls by accident, my husband was going to get a vasectomy while I also decided to get my tubes tied as an extra precaution. At the appointment, they did a scan to make sure I’m not pregnant already… BOOM! I’m 7 weeks pregnant with twins again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 440

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 482

You deserved it 6 459

Today, I earned the nickname of "Harry Potter" for all the wrong reasons. I got locked in a storage cupboard for most of my shift, and couldn't get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 207

You deserved it 1 453