Money, Kids and Drugs: What the…? - FML

What the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 930

You deserved it 559

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Thanks for all your help

By jruth7 - 15/05/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 041

You deserved it 3 701

Open invitation

By Anonymous - 18/04/2022 06:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 193

By kenz - 06/12/2010 08:18 - United States

Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 440

You deserved it 2 562

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 961

You deserved it 2 010

By Aaron - 01/12/2011 22:00

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 549

You deserved it 2 751

By nice one - 14/07/2013 17:51 - United States - Athens

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 805

You deserved it 2 748

By pillowless - 13/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 980

You deserved it 2 413

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 229

You deserved it 247

Overreacting much?

By But you drink alcohol though - 19/04/2023 03:00

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 718

False alarm

By Anonymous - 31/10/2015 16:41 - United Kingdom - Houghton Le Spring

Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight to leave for Hawaii when I received an urgent call from my neighbour saying that my house had been broken into. After rushing home and missing my flight, I had to explain to the police that my house wasn't burgled, it was just very messy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 739

You deserved it 5 934

Next

Top comments

indienerdgirl 27

Thursday 8 February 2018 17:38

Never let your dad in your house again. I'd also hold him responsible for all the missing items that were stolen.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 8 February 2018 15:48

You ought to open a can of jiu-jitsu whoop-ass on him!

Comments

longislandwalmart 7

Thursday 15 February 2018 9:09

you should have parent of those teenagers pay for it.

Mikemclain6453 11

Friday 2 March 2018 10:03

sue for negligent actions and selling stolen property, and narcotics...**** him

Mina Laymon 3

Tuesday 13 March 2018 17:33

Make him pay for E V E R Y T H I N G. Also: What the actual ****?

d j mom 8

Monday 8 April 2024 12:22

I'd disown your dad and make both of them reimburse you.

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The Top

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865 212

You deserved it 95 071

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 998

You deserved it 4 020

The Top

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 990

You deserved it 28 260

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 774

You deserved it 5 613

Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 979

You deserved it 22 963

Today, I was supposed to register my courses in college, but our stupid university changed the system, which means it's completely new. I went to my advisor, but he couldn't help. I went to the registration center; they told me to go to talk to the doctor who is teaching the course. He told me to go back to talk to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 92

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 524

You deserved it 52 543

Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 344