Miscellaneous: Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I...

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 21:50 - United States - Wexford

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 019

You deserved it 8 725

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Same thing different taste

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 3 657

Take a load off

By MustyAtticMouth - 13/01/2024 05:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 104

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 1 915

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 694

You deserved it 4 836

By TheMissMuffly - 31/07/2012 15:53 - United States - Monmouth

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 832

You deserved it 53 155

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 726

You deserved it 13 576

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 403

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 868

By lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 065

You deserved it 4 850

Sandsh8rk 36

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:14

That's gotta stink.

Retrokitty 9

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:20

*shivers*

Comments

Sandsh8rk 36

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:14

That's gotta stink.

TheWumbologist 14

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:16

Boooooooooooo

Rainhawk94 27

Sunday 22 December 2013 16:05

Did you set the toilet to wumbo

IndicaPaincakes 28

Sunday 22 December 2013 17:29

They had it set to "M" for mini!

ArielTheMermaid 17

Sunday 22 December 2013 18:18

I don't know if OP is male or female, and I'm not sure which would be funnier

thisawkwardchick 15

Monday 23 December 2013 7:54

this is my worse nightmare.

IllestRated 17

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:15

Revenge!

\ 28

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:44

"You won't get rid of me THAT easily!"

ImInYourFACEbook 8

Sunday 22 December 2013 10:42

I'm picturing a Star Wars moment here. Like when Anakin was laying in the lava looking at Obi Wan like, "Bitch, I ain't done with you!" So, yeah you just created a Stink Vader.

JocelynKaulitz 28

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:16

They creep and they crawl.

Kibaruto 33

Sunday 22 December 2013 10:02

The bug was a creep alright.

Jared900DUmpling 30

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:17

That isn't the only reason it stinks down there

DataRomance 18

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:19

What a stinky situation you have there

13ky13 20

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:26

Shitty* If you're planning to get a comment buried, at least do it right.

jazzy_123 20

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:41

11, way to set the example.

Zelphoric 25

Sunday 22 December 2013 22:49

11, How about don't do it in the first place?

Retrokitty 9

Sunday 22 December 2013 9:20

*shivers*

negb 30

Sunday 22 December 2013 15:16

I know! This is one of my scariest nightmares! I always look in the toilet and under the seat before sitting.

thisawkwardchick 15

Monday 23 December 2013 7:56

#34 me too! one time we had an ant problem in our bathroom and I saw one crawling pretty close to my on the inside of the bowl. eternal paranoia doesn't even begin to describe it.