Health, ACAB, Dad jokes and Cops: Detained - FML

Detained

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying, "Only these guns!" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. Neither will the cops down at the station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 067

You deserved it 51 081

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Top comments

trollfaced 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:26

Why would you say that?

elk21dbm 18

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:26

Dumbass

Comments

rugbyboi 12

Sunday 25 October 2015 0:38

Seems like a perfectly reasonable response to that question to be honest.

vca_fml 8

Monday 7 December 2015 7:24

Savage

Talis99 26

Saturday 23 July 2016 3:34

I can literally only see the dochebag doing something like this. Like the type that wears muscle shirts all the time, crushes cans on their forehead, and thinks memes and Tim and Eric are the epitome of wit.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers

The Top

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

The Top

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 424

You deserved it 3 018

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 876

You deserved it 43 976

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 398

You deserved it 4 642

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 235

You deserved it 3 985

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the Earth is not flat. He didn’t believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 877

You deserved it 575

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 875