Intimacy: Great chat!

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 461

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Same thing different taste

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 203

You deserved it 56 647

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 501

You deserved it 11 071

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 736

You deserved it 15 210

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 601

By annonymous - 07/09/2015 20:56 - United States

Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 877

You deserved it 2 432

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 451

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 726

You deserved it 10 244

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 486

You deserved it 9 785

X_o_X_ocutie 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 11:57

u were talking to your dick, Why?

MrNiceGuy518 3

Wednesday 16 March 2011 11:57

-insert clever penis joke here-

Comments

ntx_vette 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 23:51

know how we know you're gay?

beastingitup21 5

Wednesday 16 March 2011 23:56

you could close the door.

jess6blondie9 2

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:08

Just because you close the door, doesn't mean that someone won't barge in without warning.

gasbandit 2

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:07

Dear Penis: I don't think I like you any more. You used to watch me shave, now you just stare at the floor...

besosforme 26

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:11

Well was she cumming or going?

kykyshay 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:16

clever...but gross

besosforme 26

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:44

Yeah, lol, that was pretty bad.

kykyshay 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:13

Okay, I cannot get over how weird you are! YTDI!

LmFaO4realz 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:18

wow that's awkward

glacilia80 8

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:20

lmaoo are you serious ! Buddy, you have problems :$ You should get real friends :/

pimpsgirl69 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:23

wow nuff said

dx_SPANKY_xp 5

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:23

lol maybe he was getn it ready for the day. or tryn to cheer it up. does it have a name to?

lalasha10 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 0:25

dude,make some friends:/

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Students Relatable Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 817

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 095

You deserved it 200

The Top

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 221

You deserved it 147 876

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 826

You deserved it 10 492

Today, while on my way to a meeting and the following job interview I had lined up, I slipped on ice crossing the road, landing on my dominant arm. The pain was awful but I persisted and attended both. Later, it turned out I'd shattered my elbow and fractured my radius. I really hope I get that job now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 107

Today, my partner of 4 years has told me that trying to be emotionally present and initiate affection from time to time is too much of a change for them to handle. I wish they had said that the first time I brought it up, instead of stringing me along. Oh, but they "love me". Just not enough to be a better person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 199

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 1 899

Today, I've been suffering from unbearable headache, fever, agonizing body pain for more than ten days. I took a COVID test, an antibiotic tablets course, even a dengue test. Finally after spending my entire bank balance on tests and MRI, it was diagnosed as a migraine - which went away with a single tablet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 289