Kids: How in hell…? - FML

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How in hell…?

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 16:12 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 032

You deserved it 5 279

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

Teenagers…

By why the fuck would you do that - 25/02/2013 02:57 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 3 794

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 081

You deserved it 497

Not too fond of the chair

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 866

You deserved it 36 544

Great work, son

By firestar772 - 12/06/2013 06:21 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 831

You deserved it 5 474

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 20:36 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 236

You deserved it 5 397

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 253

You deserved it 3 186

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 27/08/2020 10:02 - Australia - Murarrie

Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 1 296

Cats are the same

By GrumpyMonk - 21/01/2022 04:58

Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 782

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 662

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 309

You deserved it 2 731

Next

Top comments

TheDrifter 23

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:30

True talent. Hide the modeling clay, it might put him in the ICU.

KainMoogle 21

Wednesday 19 June 2013 22:32

All I want to know is one thing... How?

Comments

Ketchup_Castle 30

Thursday 20 June 2013 13:43

How does that even happen!?!

dat_creeper 4

Thursday 20 June 2013 16:59

What is this I don't even

theKevmeister 13

Thursday 20 June 2013 18:44

protective bubble time and he needs to drink more milk. don't ever let him bake anything. pizza dough would have shattered every bone in his hands and arms.

someguy314159265 15

Thursday 20 June 2013 19:39

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Agata6248 3

Thursday 20 June 2013 19:56

I broke my finger by falling off a swing. I had to get surgery and was put in a cast up to my elbow.

Nosakare56 12

Thursday 20 June 2013 21:20

that shit is dangerous

LONERANGER44 11

Friday 21 June 2013 7:17

I laughed for so long at time.

BumbleBee9296 4

Friday 21 June 2013 7:18

Better than his penis and yes you can actually break your penis.

I'madumbass 19

Sunday 19 November 2017 6:25

How can someone break their penis? Isn't it a bunch of erectile muscle inside or something?

tenac71 6

Friday 21 June 2013 19:28

Mr. Glass?

Emporer_416 6

Saturday 22 June 2013 20:13

How does one even...

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The Top

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 673

You deserved it 5 714

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 774

You deserved it 4 528

The Top

Today, my dad is obsessed with making sure that I am not in any way 'bare' in front of the windows of our house. Which is surrounded by tall trees, five metres worth of tall trees. I'm not sure whether to be creeped out that someone might see me or that my dad is unhealthily obsessed about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 487

You deserved it 1 171

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face onto my knee and breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 293

You deserved it 7 098

Today, I was on the bus and a woman got on with her 3 young children. I offered her my seat so they could all sit together. When I went to get off the bus, I realized I'd left my bag underneath my old seat. When I tried to get it back the woman hit me and yelled at me for trying to steal her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 786

You deserved it 2 965

Today, I met my daughter's first serious boyfriend, only she forgot to mention he has hypermobility. All I did was shaking his hand normally, but it still dislocated three of his knuckles. My daughter made me call his mother to explain what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 648

You deserved it 290

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 188

You deserved it 3 468

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 388

You deserved it 5 123