Kids will be kids

By sillydad - 29/09/2023 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I finally found out my suspicions about my 12 year-old daughter were correct, and I don’t know which one is worse: She's had a boyfriend and has denied it for the last 3 months, or the fact that my partner thought it was a good idea to let it go on for this long without telling me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 376
You deserved it 680

Same thing different taste

Top comments

This was probably hidden because they knew how you would react to something natural. It sounds like you may need to communicate more with your daughter and let her know why you feel dating is not appropriate for a preteen. Try to work on your relationship with your daughter so she feels comfortable talking with you. It can be done, as both of my kids (1 of each) have open and honest discussions with both my wife and I. You have to extend the olive branch of trust first. Especially if past experiences are of the adult flying off the handle or being overprotective.

Is the boyfriend 12 or 38? I need more facts to pass judgment.

Comments

Is the boyfriend 12 or 38? I need more facts to pass judgment.

This was probably hidden because they knew how you would react to something natural. It sounds like you may need to communicate more with your daughter and let her know why you feel dating is not appropriate for a preteen. Try to work on your relationship with your daughter so she feels comfortable talking with you. It can be done, as both of my kids (1 of each) have open and honest discussions with both my wife and I. You have to extend the olive branch of trust first. Especially if past experiences are of the adult flying off the handle or being overprotective.

Wording "let it go on for this long" gives a feeling you will try to make it stop. If so, no wonder they didn't tell you.

Dude, the kid is twelve. The most she's going to do with a boy at this age is kiss and hold hands. You are massively overreacting, and you should be taking way more cues from your wife here on how to interact with your daughter before you lose her for good.

While I agree with most of this, you would be surprised what 12 year olds are doing nowadays.

well, my niece had her first baby a few days after her 13th birthday. While not common, it sadly does happen.

youaremysunshine95 1

Your daughter isn’t going to stop dating because you try to stop it from happening. You can’t control your children. You can only teach them what they need to know and keep the lines of communication open. Your daughter and partner kept it from you because they knew you would react this way. Don’t try to stop your daughter from dating - you’re wasting your time. Just like adults, if a kid wants to do something badly enough, they’ll find a way. And the more you try to control her, the further apart you will get and the more she will hide from you. Teach her about relationships, safe sex, and the importance of consent. Teach her that she should always wait until she’s 100% comfortable and ready for a physical relationship before engaging in one, even with things as harmless as hand-holding and kissing. Make sure she knows that you are there for her no matter what happens. And above all, get her to the OB/GYN (she should go in with the doctor alone) and get her on birth control (of course only if she’s willing). If she’s gotten her period already, BC will not only keep her safe from pregnancy, but can help with pain and bleeding during periods.