there are no words to describe how painful sex can be. if she’s had painful experiences (even just with tampons) in the past, or she’s heard from friends how bad it is, I don’t blame her for being scared. I know how frustrating this must be for you, but her knowing how annoyed you are only increases the likelihood that sex will actually be painful. tell her to talk to her dr who can give her some strategies to prevent painful sex. hopefully having a plan will help her feel more prepared and at ease. you should also do some research on painful sex (called vaginismus) to make sure her first experience is good, otherwise you’re in for a long road ahead. good luck!