Mr. Smooth

By funkmylife69 - 23/09/2019 06:06

Today, I made out with the guy I've had a huge crush on for the first time. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered softly into my ear, "I can't wait to bone you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 473

Black Friday: Sales and crazy situations
Shopping stories where discounts aren't the only surprises! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Mojo - 14/12/2009 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 564

You deserved it 5 188

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 519

You deserved it 16 146

By Anonymous - 18/08/2018 03:30

Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 045

You deserved it 672

First time?

By Kiss-a-thon - 27/07/2016 10:01 - Germany

Today, I finally got together with this great guy I've had a crush on for a while. He told me before that he is quite inexperienced, which usually doesn't bother me at all. Turns out "inexperienced" translates to "I will include your nose and chin in our kissing" in this case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 955

You deserved it 2 219

Couch action

By Mojo_Jojo - 13/06/2009 11:01 - China

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 024

You deserved it 6 703

By vishurricanes - 10/06/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 856

You deserved it 3 238

By Bella - 26/10/2018 03:00

Today, I finally managed to kiss the guy of my dreams. We pulled away and looked into each other's eyes, and he softly said, "You know I'm dating another girl right now, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 186

You deserved it 547

Confused

By Miranda - 07/06/2020 17:06

Today, I was going to walk up to my crush, kiss him, and tell him how I felt. We are already kind of touchy with each other, so I thought he liked me back. I walked up to him and kissed him. He kissed me back, then gently pushed me away. He quietly whispered, "I'm gay." Then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 723

You deserved it 502

By plasticfantastic - 25/04/2009 12:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 719

You deserved it 9 623

Classy

By Anonymous - 12/01/2013 20:12 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 5 100

jbuckets_404 38

Monday 23 September 2019 6:39

To be perfectly honest, that's what every guy thinks when making out ... if not before. JS.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 23 September 2019 6:51

Maybe I don't understand the concept of a crush. Back in my day, it meant you someone you wanted to bone.

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Monday 23 September 2019 6:22

What a dick

jbuckets_404 38

Monday 23 September 2019 6:39

To be perfectly honest, that's what every guy thinks when making out ... if not before. JS.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 23 September 2019 22:47

Like as soon as I lay eyes on them. Getting to know them excludes many.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 23 September 2019 6:51

Maybe I don't understand the concept of a crush. Back in my day, it meant you someone you wanted to bone.

DogStew 20

Monday 23 September 2019 6:52

That’s your crush. Another winner picked a winner.

SkullHQ 27

Monday 23 September 2019 7:20

Maybe it was a joke? Hopefully you're the joking type

Wadlaen 23

Monday 23 September 2019 10:15

That's a keeper!💕😂

JackWood 20

Monday 23 September 2019 11:37

Find another crush this one obviously gets around.

demix_fml 32

Monday 23 September 2019 15:13

So romantic 🙄

DieYuppieScum 4

Monday 23 September 2019 15:19

Was it the sentiment or the phrasing that made this an FML in your mind?

blueknight1st 26

Monday 23 September 2019 15:58

At least you know he’s into you.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Halloween Wanker Lonely Jealousy Love Party Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Embarrassing Health Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings YouTube TikTok Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, I found out that my father is telling people that we sometimes sleep with each other, meaning it literally. He knows the figurative meaning of that phrase, but insists that “not everyone has a dirty mind.” Thankfully, since I’m an adult he won’t get into legal trouble, but still, ewww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 185

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 618

You deserved it 11 130

The Top

Today, despite warning my mother repeatedly about scammers, I got home to her on the phone giving her bank details to someone for security purposes. I grabbed the phone and hung up, and now she’s mad at me because he sounded like such a "nice honest man" and I was very rude to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 77

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 655

You deserved it 2 969

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend telling me he still likes me and might love me too. Later I asked him if he really meant it and his response was "I don't know. I was high." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 012

You deserved it 5 435

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 843

You deserved it 3 273

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 982

You deserved it 4 684

Today, my best friend told me I'm the friend who no one really likes. This was after I had bought her lunch, ice cream, and a ticket to a movie we were going to see that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 654

You deserved it 5 153

Mr. Smooth

Same thing different taste

First time?

Couch action

Confused

Classy

Top comments

Comments