Love, Family, Cheating and Keys: MY WIFE!

MY WIFE!

By Fmlloser - 07/03/2022 00:01

Today, I came home from work to find my things outside my yard and the door locks changed. I called my wife to let me in and she told me to go live with, “That homewrecking whore who texted you last night” instead. She’s talking about my cousin, who informed me via text that my aunt’s in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 100

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Run, run now

By SoakingWet - 23/01/2023 03:30

Today, my wife of one week changed locks of the house and put my stuff outside. A letter addressed to “Elizabeth” had arrived in the mail. She thinks it’s my “secret side wife” and that I’m cheating. She was actually the previous owner of the house. My wife told me to, “Tell that lie to someone else.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 164

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 803

Barely legal

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 05:00

Today, my husband told me that he and my cousin had been seeing each other for the past two months. The cousin I took in because my aunt kicked her out for dropping out of high school. I’ve clothed, fed and paid bills for this homewrecker. She’s barely 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 165

Call the police!

By ChangingTheLocks - 13/07/2019 12:30

Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 159

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 230

You deserved it 4 591

Overreacting much?

By But you drink alcohol though - 19/04/2023 03:00

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 707

'This Is Us' reboot

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 16:00

Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 542

Enough is enough

By Rachaael - 19/01/2023 02:00

Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 396

By LifeSucks - 17/11/2018 05:00

Today, I came home to an empty house. I found a note from my wife telling me she was bisexual and found love in a woman. I FaceTimed my sister to tell her about it, and who do I see with her? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 104

You deserved it 217

By Lisa - 23/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Tupelo

Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 240

MidnaLink 33

Monday 7 March 2022 0:12

Would she not have met at least a good chunk of your family members by now, including a cousin or two?

WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23

Monday 7 March 2022 0:40

Hell, I'd say if you weren't considering a divorce already, she might be doing you a favor! I wouldn't want to come home to that kind of crazy no matter how hot she is or *what* she does in bed (because there has to be some reason you married her, and it ain't her sweet lovin' nature)

Comments

AzraelAngelus 15

Monday 7 March 2022 0:12

If you have a prenup I’d recommend a divorce

MidnaLink 33

Monday 7 March 2022 0:12

Would she not have met at least a good chunk of your family members by now, including a cousin or two?

wysegirl 24

Monday 7 March 2022 19:42

not always. my husband has met less than 20 of my family members.

WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23

Monday 7 March 2022 0:40

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Monday 7 March 2022 0:44

Run.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 7 March 2022 0:50

So, is your cousin hot?

Bogrbon 27

Monday 7 March 2022 5:11

That’s called an illegal evocation. Call the police, a divorce attorney and a locksmith.

sirrubberduckie 35

Monday 7 March 2022 5:46

You should probably call a priest or something if she's illegally summoning a spirit, right?

electraliv 13

Monday 7 March 2022 5:35

Glad (not rlly) to know this happens to others. Just finished moving back into my room… FYL

JBChristian 47

Monday 14 March 2022 15:33

Turns out the home wrecker is a Trojan. Honestly though, more often than not when a partner accuses you of cheating or petty crap like this, they’re cheating and projecting their guilt on you. Watch for red flags man.