Health, Embarrassing and Awkward: Nice attempt

Nice attempt

By IHaveThePower - 20/09/2023 19:00 - United States

Today, I went down to my congresscritter's office to deliver some paperwork. Somehow, I'd forgotten the pocketknife I kept on me for hiking, from four years ago, back when I could walk consistently. The security guards were kind enough not to laugh at me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 206

New Year, New Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Armed and not dangerous

By littledonny - 12/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 013

You deserved it 1 295

Bunch of bankers

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 137

You deserved it 2 157

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 197

You deserved it 43 448

By lalala - 14/06/2011 10:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 868

You deserved it 3 701

By dangerousknitter - 08/10/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 320

You deserved it 3 849

Never forget

By Anonymous - 02/12/2021 09:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 376

Badass grandma

By yelyah - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Tolono

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 965

You deserved it 2 260

By Ian Artis - 12/07/2012 18:28 - United States

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 867

You deserved it 2 824

Trustworthy

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I showed up to an important meeting 20 minutes late, claiming I couldn't find my keys. They were in my hand the whole time, and I realized it just as I reached for the doorknob. Everyone saw me pause mid-step, staring at my hand in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 441

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 945

You deserved it 3 136

Thaylok 17

Thursday 21 September 2023 14:59

Did they keep your knife? Did they arrest you? If you got your business done and knife back, then No Harm - No Foul. Believe me, guards see much more embarrassing items in ladies purses that run on batteries EVERY day.

Crowned Sataness 12

Friday 22 September 2023 4:25

I've done that. I had a nice blade in my purse I kept wrapped in cloth so it wouldn't get scratched up. I forgot about it and walked through the court house x-ray.

Comments

Thaylok 17

Thursday 21 September 2023 14:59

Crowned Sataness 12

Friday 22 September 2023 4:25

I've done that. I had a nice blade in my purse I kept wrapped in cloth so it wouldn't get scratched up. I forgot about it and walked through the court house x-ray.