Kids, Drugs and Parents: Stoner

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 83 228

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Same thing different taste

By hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 146

You deserved it 15 543

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 153

You deserved it 1 629

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 818

You deserved it 9 725

By valarmorgoolies - 06/02/2015 18:51 - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 829

You deserved it 3 036

By potheadloljk - 02/12/2012 02:01 - United States - East Machias

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 309

You deserved it 2 125

By ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 336

You deserved it 3 084

Stoned

By Stereotypical - 30/06/2022 05:00 - Brazil - São Gonçalo

Today, I realised I've become the background stoner character of any college movie, as I sat alone on my dorm's bed, wearing flannel over a Pac-Man shirt, and smoking weed out of a skull-shaped bong. Sorry, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 983

Don't blame me

By anonymous - 15/11/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 2 638

Smoke 'em while you can

By OuttaNowhere81 - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 628

You deserved it 73 910

ByronJess 17

Monday 13 February 2012 2:57

Weed and cat shit smell nothing alike.

emilyy5924 0

Monday 13 February 2012 3:31

#60 You smoke weed, you don't use a needle..

Comments

taytaylal 11

Monday 13 February 2012 4:13

You're an idiot. You should've threw it in your neighbors yard or something. A stray cat? Really? You would let a stray cat into your house?

hamtaro331 0

Monday 13 February 2012 4:15

You deserved it big time

happilyever2012 6

Monday 13 February 2012 4:16

Lesson learned.

GovernorGeneral 8

Monday 13 February 2012 4:19

*cough cough* i, as the governor general of Canada, declare weed LEGAL ! There. Now youre in the clear op ;D

AdriannGrabnutzz 0

Monday 13 February 2012 4:19

Who smokes in the room ? YDI

chellyX92 8

Monday 13 February 2012 4:20

I dot see how this could possibly have "your life sucks" at all. Dude you deserve it for Smoking it in the house and leaving the blunt in your room. No possible better hiding spots? Wow.

matt1998 0

Monday 13 February 2012 4:20

Good ****** job nigga. The first time is always da best. God i ****** love pot. Just to piss off yo fatha u should smoke pot in yo room and call ur dad up to watch. HAHAHAHAHA

soupisyummy 13

Monday 13 February 2012 4:26

I'm sorry.. But do you think you're cool?

soupisyummy 13

Monday 13 February 2012 4:21

YDI. Drugs can and will ruin your life. Think about how they can affect you and what you're putting into your body- poison. Seriously, I can't stress enough the harmful affects they cause. SxE dude.

Kyot3 7

Monday 13 February 2012 4:30

Drugs WILL ruin your life? That's a pretty definitive statement. We're talking about weed, not heroin. Chill.

soupisyummy 13

Monday 13 February 2012 4:53

One thing leads to another. Tell me one good thing that comes out of drugs.

jeffandjeff 22

Thursday 27 June 2013 17:32

It's a good thing that I read your comment, my dad was about to drink some coffee! Coffee is full of caffeine and he probably would be a homeless unemployed drug addict in a week. Thanks, also pharmaceuticals are drugs so that's one good thing.