Work, Sex, Awkward and Smells: The sweet smell of… - FML

The sweet smell of…

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 11:00 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, my coworker and I greeted each other with fist-bumps as usual. He said, "Damn bro, someone got some pussy last night." I asked what he was talking about and he stated my hands smelled "fishy". This morning I threw out some fish in my fridge and even the strongest degreaser doesn't complete the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 135

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Same thing different taste

Hygiene police

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 02:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 846

You deserved it 17 006

By MistressSuzuka - 21/09/2012 00:05 - United States - Milwaukee

Spicy

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 308

You deserved it 2 817

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 976

You deserved it 4 147

By gimmeasalad - 21/04/2012 06:01 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 148

You deserved it 36 921

By Mangler - 22/06/2010 13:49 - Belgium

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 229

You deserved it 5 264

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 299

You deserved it 7 209

By Champion the wonder horse - 28/07/2011 08:15 - United States

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 978

You deserved it 56 808

Gross, dude

By Anonymous - 06/11/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I took my date home for sex after quite a long dry spell. As he took off his shoes, I was hit right in the nose by the most disgusting foot odour I've ever encountered. It was so bad I forgot all about sex and threw him out. That was 3 hours ago and I can still smell it on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 160

You deserved it 529

By Doritos - 17/06/2010 08:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 525

You deserved it 4 743

Experimental cuisine

By Nicky - 16/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was washing a sink full of lettuce that I'd grown, which had been in the hot sun. My husband was preparing fish for dinner and took all the juices that had drained off the raw fish, reached over my shoulder, and dumped the juice on my lettuce. I asked if that was the fish juice. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 101

Next

Top comments

Charlie Given 26

Monday 15 April 2024 3:45

Pure white vinegar will get rid of the smell.

turnabouttrial 21

Monday 15 April 2024 5:30

Use gloves next time

Comments

Charlie Given 26

Monday 15 April 2024 3:45

Pure white vinegar will get rid of the smell.

turnabouttrial 21

Monday 15 April 2024 5:30

Use gloves next time

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 034

You deserved it 4 250

The Top

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 840

You deserved it 4 925

Today, I finally got my paycheck that I could enjoy $300 for myself after taking care of my bills with so many other ones. Then, I find out that the water was shut off, which is supposed to be my roommate's responsibility. Apparently, he has not paid it in months, and they want $288. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 182

Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 340

You deserved it 2 742

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 951

You deserved it 12 217

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 386

You deserved it 3 305

Today, while at Six Flags my boyfriend won a huge stuffed animal for me. After a whole day of carrying it around, when he dropped me off he told me that he wants the stuffed animal back. He just didn't want to carry it around all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 761

You deserved it 3 687