Kids: Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me...

By thisreallyhappened - 15/05/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 788

You deserved it 3 981

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

No good deed…

By Dinho - 15/05/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 6 675

Here, have a Turner Prize

By RunningMurphy - 15/05/2009 07:20 - United States

Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 614

You deserved it 2 758

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 442

Eau de toilette

By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 3 124

Plug it

By Dumbblonde - 03/05/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 575

You deserved it 16 912

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 800

You deserved it 350

I'm in a hurry

By Anonymous - 20/01/2020 20:00

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 541

You deserved it 144

By amburrr - 03/08/2009 00:59 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 57 887

You deserved it 2 665

By kellb123 - 18/12/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 510

You deserved it 2 574

aback 4

Friday 15 May 2009 12:37

It would make more sense if you said the kid put her hand in her crotch. The way you've got it, it sounds like she was fisting herself. :/

stonerchu 0

Friday 15 May 2009 12:09

Yuck

Comments

DarkMirror 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 22:15

#25 made me lol

mustangsami118 5

Tuesday 19 May 2009 22:47

#18...just cause it's a kid..and she didn't know what she was doing..doesn't make it any less disgusting than adult pee being on your face..pee is pee..doesnt matter who it came from or how old they are..that's still incredibly disgusting...and you know what i am 22 and have been working with little children since i was about 15 ( as a counselor and babysitter) and i have never seen a kid do ANYTHING like that...the parent's must be brainless if they didn't teach her to wipe

Icarus3 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 23:57

Um, I think you mean that she touched some part of her vulva. I sincerely doubt she actually penetrated herself. The ****** is the tube connecting the uterus to the outside of the body, NOT a general term for the entire female genitalia.

thisissparta 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 0:40

OMG that's ******* hysterical. And yes, gross at the same time. Now I don't want kids. LOL

sarahmcgeee 5

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:26

you guys are retarded, go to school learn some anatomy, pee doesn't come out of the ****** it come out of the urethra, infront of the ******. so it's not gross that the girl did that, pretty sure you have had pussy on your face before. so deal with it, and fyl because you don't know shit about a females anatomy

foreverfmylife 0

Friday 22 May 2009 0:55

That sucks. I have weak stomach so i wouldn't be able to deal with it...which is why I will never work in a hospital, daycare, vets office..or anything else where those are an expected norm of the job.