Miscellaneous: Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm...

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 907

You deserved it 2 543

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Same thing different taste

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 060

You deserved it 4 410

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By Anonymous - 18/12/2012 05:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 872

You deserved it 6 309

By childdreamkiller - 08/12/2011 17:41 - Canada

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 304

You deserved it 5 199

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 020

You deserved it 6 153

By evil Santa - 25/12/2014 03:48 - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 145

You deserved it 3 215

By I said whaat - 18/12/2012 16:50

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 169

You deserved it 36 857

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 2 821

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 3 232

By NorwegianMadman - 22/12/2016 11:55

Today, nearly Christmas, my dad got mad because I don't have enough money for holiday festivities. I can't afford things because I haven't gotten my paycheck yet. I work for my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 715

You deserved it 479

nick17 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:20

He's gonna get u with his north pole LOL

domii_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 23:02

you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout i'm telling you why, santa is gonnna rape you, tonight.

Comments

MadeOfAwesome 1

Sunday 23 August 2009 8:44

Lmao  I love the way you worded this

soccerfreak009 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 6:14

well considering you called him "father christmas" i'm pretty sure you're too old to be preggos so dont sweat it :D

FHS_9th 0

Monday 2 November 2009 2:46

You don't have to be old to call him "Father Christmas" It can be where the person was raised. You don't have to be so stereotypical. In France, maybe people don't call him Santa. It's probably normal to call him Father Christmas.

arsenalfcboy 6

Monday 14 December 2009 19:13

Indeed, in France, he's called Père Noël: Father Christmas.

ronton 4

Friday 27 August 2010 13:17

arsenal sucks!!!! ^^^

ArentICute 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 3:49

Op is probobly French as she comes from France, and there they use "pére noél".

UWBeautyQueen12 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 6:31

Haha!!

OneHottBaby 1

Saturday 27 February 2010 8:14

a christtmas speciall. c;

pureecstasy 5

Monday 31 May 2010 3:26

did u tell him u wanted a white Xmas?

suxs4ulol 22

Tuesday 3 January 2012 10:46

Cocaine?

RLG 7

Tuesday 21 June 2011 13:20

"he knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake...."

grapisy 8

Wednesday 22 June 2011 7:32

*sees you when your sleeping. even worse 

zman1422 3

Monday 18 July 2011 6:13

maybe he got tired of his three ho's

suxs4ulol 22

Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:43

a guy at a mall isent going to stalk u to ur house

GPAW 4

Tuesday 22 May 2012 5:20

C'est bon n'est pas?

PopularPoptart 8

Monday 18 January 2016 7:09

Non

aLiYaaH_fml 17

Monday 26 August 2013 14:52

Wow.... What a Pedo! D:

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Students Relatable Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 086

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, my work's annual Christmas party is at 3:00. Everyone in the office is off work at 2:00, except me and the boss who is staying 'til 4:00. I have been informed the boss is leaving early today to attend the Christmas party, but I need to lock up when I leave at 4:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 785

You deserved it 197

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 6 724

Today, I've been using a clay pad to warm up my stiff neck muscles. I put it in the microwave as instructed on the box, just as I've been doing for weeks. This time, the bag exploded, splattering sticky clay. Now my neck is even more sore from reaching inside to clean the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 148

You deserved it 1 006

Today, it was my mom's birthday. I decided to get her a Willow Tree statue of a woman fairy holding a heart. After dinner, I presented my gift. My mother asked me how much it was. I replied, $30. She threw me a dirty look, shoved the present in my direction, and told me to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 800

You deserved it 8 640

Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 934

You deserved it 2 074

Today, my aunt asked me to have my 13-year-old autistic cousin stay over for the night. When he got here, he told me his mom forgot his Vaseline, and asked if I'd be a dear and go get some for him. His mom informed me that he uses it to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 847

You deserved it 754

Same thing different taste

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