Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had...

By Wannabees - 03/04/2012 05:13 - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 37 775

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Same thing different taste

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 903

You deserved it 91 021

Trumped

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 18:00

Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 1 732

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 586

You deserved it 39 979

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 461

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 017

You deserved it 24 810

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 523

You deserved it 39 344

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 589

You deserved it 51 118

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 650

You deserved it 46 030

Tanned pits

By huulo - 16/11/2010 10:07

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 486

You deserved it 28 088

Splashed out

By bit_fluff - 20/10/2020 02:01

Today, I decided to redye my hair. And the sink, and the wall, and the toilet seat, and the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 888

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 3 April 2012 11:58

I'm confused - are the white stripes on the back of your thighs where your legs touched the seat, or is that where the pee dripped down the backs of your le... Oh, **** it, it doesn't matter. You're an idiot regardless.

BelleIsa_fml 6

Tuesday 3 April 2012 11:42

An orange toilet bowl... Well at least more original than the usual white ones

Comments

franwins0827 7

Wednesday 4 April 2012 5:46

YDI for not thinking you should hover over the bowl instead of sitting on it.

rachael21 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 8:02

Shoulda done the stand and piss..... Works every time

kenzie20 6

Wednesday 4 April 2012 8:47

You're doing it wrong

bobleheadNS 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 15:05

You're an orange oompaloompa? Kill yourself.

baden18830 5

Wednesday 4 April 2012 22:06

Don't worry, after you decided to spray tan you were committed to looking like an idiot anyway. Lol.

thecuriouswho15 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 22:08

So ur an orange, white chocolate and an idiot?.......neat. [: *cough*sarcasm

Misfits_Danzig 2

Thursday 5 April 2012 6:06

Hi, this is wannabees and welcome to Jackass!

Fortitudine 3

Thursday 5 April 2012 9:24

There seems to be a connection between people who spray tan and stupidity

pnutbutternjelly 15

Thursday 5 April 2012 17:43

You deserve it for even getting a spray tan in the first place, and if you were so dumb that you didn't realize that that would happen when the spray wasn't dry yet, then dam. You probably shouldn't reproduce. You are provably one of those people that would put your toddler in a beauty pagent and ***** them up at three.