By whoreticulturalist - 27/10/2012 19:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Spicy
Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 636
You deserved it 15 543
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Top comments

The_Big_Boss 20

Wanking the gibbon...?

227 2
FMLkaiiden 8

Lmao, that sucks. All over that sucks, didn't finish, in pain, and embarrassed. Sorry to hear bro.

170 14

Comments

olpally 32

Sounds like Quagmire needs to teach you a few things, Brian...lol

13 19
farkie3 8

I'm pretty sure Quagmire doesn't normally need to resort to ****.

3 7
olpally 32

I'm done commenting for the day... I've sucked today for the most part... Lol. Having a cold doesn't help... Laterz.

10 8
SenselessPattern 12

High five for being a trooper, 35! *misses and hits own balls* I wonder if it's taboo to reference deleted FMLs? We shall see...

11 2
bladedrose 3

There's an entire family guy episode devoted to quagmire discovering Internet ****! He gets addicted and then beats his meat so much he becomes a shut in and gets really buff. So bravo and well said sir!

5 2
Futacy 29

Yeah, because whenever I get depressed, I instantly head straight for the **** sites. No fun music or hanging out with my friends or enjoying being single, but lots and lots of ****. That always makes everything better.

28 9
CrewBoy 10

The whole "Watching **** to cheer me up" thing really got me laughing.

18 1
I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Don't boobies and bukkakes put a smile on every guys face? Or is that just me...

7 5
CrewBoy 10

Dude, it's all about that Double Anal Fisting. Or DAF for short. That shit could put a smile on my face any day.

2 7
CountDuk 5

That's funny. The same thing's happened to me... 10 times, though.

3 8
BulldogHoops 14

Opening up PussyPictures can be a painful ordeal

26 2
ICastillo 24

Here's a little joke: Dad tells son if you don't stop maturbating you're going to go blind....The son says dad I'm over here.

26 4
ilovesarcasm 18

Well, were you okay, physically at least? Cramps are the worst. I already know you are emotionally scarred as well as robbed of any self dignity; but at least the cramp subsided, right?

4 9
perdix 29

If you are going to "wank the gibbon" while people are around, you've got to be able to handle pain without making a fuss. You've got to suck it up! Aren't you learning anything from those girls in the ****?

17 6
TheJester12 15

+ 50 for the use of the phrase " wanking the gibbon" Potential : using the Kleenex box to cry and blow your load into simultaneously . Now you're thinking efficiently ;)

8 4