Sex, Awkward, Contraception and Intimacy: Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was...

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By theguy24 - 27/01/2009 12:47 - United States

Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 630

You deserved it 9 020

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Same thing different taste

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 798

You deserved it 1 001

By Badaboom - 23/05/2011 10:54 - Netherlands

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 888

You deserved it 6 350

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 426

You deserved it 6 035

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 162

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 907

You deserved it 8 708

By LoveLost - 09/07/2016 02:57

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 267

You deserved it 2 789

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 4 735

Cockblocked

By sad gf - 14/11/2010 20:29

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 899

You deserved it 5 864

So close…

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 370

You deserved it 9 632

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 492

You deserved it 11 469

Bunbu 8

Tuesday 24 February 2009 22:49

I think if I was with a guy and that happened, I'd ask if he wanted to cuddle until he was ready again. D: Also, she's a bitch.

yasmina212 1

Friday 13 February 2009 17:43

Congratulations on not breaking your dry spell.

Comments

K1al 0

Friday 10 July 2009 14:15

frayedwire my first time was 15 misn to (h5) =D

riababyy 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 7:19

lmfao, jeez.

DynamicDave 11

Tuesday 20 October 2009 6:53

I hope she was putting the condom on you! lol. btw, as soon as it was on? Good gravy, man, don't you jack off or anything?!

Douglias1 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 17:56

I hope you tried to save yourself and give some dumbass line to still get some poon

hutsmundi89 0

Friday 23 October 2009 16:25

LMAO YDI YOU LOSER!

HarperGirl 4

Monday 23 November 2009 16:43

WOW!!!

in2deep96 5

Thursday 3 December 2009 18:11

dude thats pathetic

harrisonmoon 0

Monday 18 January 2010 8:29

wow. you suck at life

RebeccaWvvv 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 5:02

Hahahahaha Sorry but that's funny XD

kekelala3 0

Friday 2 April 2010 1:45

How do come out of her, slip and punch her?

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