Miscellaneous: Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 338

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

TheAbsentOne 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 15:59

Idiot. FYL.

zarahboo 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 20:24

am i the only one who noticed that the person is actually a woman but illustrated as a man? (look at the original story)

Comments

franceypants 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 3:24

that's why you double check the day before sneaking out dummy

ROBfmlROB 0

Monday 26 September 2011 2:26

This is a copy of that commericial. Fail. Be more original.

anongrl5846 19

Thursday 22 March 2012 19:09

Me 2

StormFML 7

Friday 19 April 2013 4:30

Maybe next time you should being keys or go in through the back smart one. YDI

Circles 18

Friday 16 January 2015 17:57

"You know what's a good idea, posting about this while I wait for my parents to realise I'm out here and give me a beating" -OP

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Embarrassing Dogs Intimacy Kids Abuse Parenting Health Dentist Parents Creepy Transportation Cute Drunk Awkward Insurance Money Miscellaneous Shoes Cooking Food Relationship advice Love Music Concert Cars Sexism Dating Capitalism Sports

The Top

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year-old son decided to ask aloud, "What's Chew and Screw?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 226

You deserved it 66 596

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 493

You deserved it 5 437

The Top

Today, as a stressed NHS nurse, I tried to take a relaxing bath, except I dropped my book in the water, my candle set my hair on fire, I slipped getting out and may have broken my finger. The noise woke up my two kids, so I had to start their bedtime routine over again, and I got bath salt crystals in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 223

Today, I found out while pet-sitting that a white cat is no easier to see in the dark than a black cat. I also found out that this particular cat doesn't take kindly to being accidentally kicked, even if it wasn't that hard. My feet have seen better days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 302

Today, my brother asked if I could babysit his kids tomorrow. I declined, as tomorrow is my birthday and I have plans. This isn't the first time he's forgotten my birthday, and I doubt it'll be the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 749

You deserved it 135

Today, I found out I can't enroll in a course I need for my degree. I don't have the right prerequisites. They weren't posted anywhere. The applications for similar courses I could've taken instead have closed last week. I lost a year and a fuckton of money because I waited for the last minute, and now I can't get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 1 546

Today, my brace broke and due to Covid-19, I can't get it fixed for another month and a half. Four brackets have come off, the wire is sinking into my gum, giving me tooth and jaw pain. I can't eat and I'm spending excessive amounts of money on pain relief. The cause of all this? A cheese pasty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 280

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 570

You deserved it 24 526