Health, Accident, Tattoos and Animals: Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet...

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 05:15 - Australia

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 309

You deserved it 43 585

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 662

You deserved it 8 343

Chill out

By HURP - 17/06/2015 15:41 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 098

You deserved it 13 162

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 1 011

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 876

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 309

You deserved it 23 904

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 918

You deserved it 44 882

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 954

You deserved it 1 163

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 230

You deserved it 41 626

Panic! In the Bathroom

By MAWZ - 19/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 5 160

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

AliMarie 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 15:01

Uh. . .this just confuses me.

Tribulations 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 15:18

That is undoubtedly the worst tattoo ever worn by anyone ever.

Comments

andcob 1

Saturday 31 October 2009 1:46

bullshit nobody says faucet in australia, probably lying or from america or they are just a ******, and people who type 911 instead of 000 thts just stupid

yehr 0

Monday 30 November 2009 13:05

ever thought she might have said faucet because she thought this was an American site and didn't think they would know what a tap was ????

aussieoioioi 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 8:35

#71 People do say faucet And people that dial 911 are not necessarily stupid. We watch so much american tv and movies that people get the facts mixed up. I personally know someone whos never been to america, is of asian ancestry, lives in australia and has a full american accent from being brought up watching american tv and movies. And i can tell you now, she definately is not a ****** or stupid. Shes probably twice as smart as you are and a lot less ignorant.

ginwl 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 13:31

Ha ha, that did make me laugh though.

DefyingGravity 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 16:00

How old ARE you?

rachelbrianna25 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:06

lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MAN!! u must be the brightest one in the fixture.

hoff90 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 2:21

uhhhhh, wtf is this? randomness...... also, a faucet is part of a sink not a shower... in any part of the world

marshmallowmouse 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 9:02

If it's a shower that doubles as a tub, the spout where water comes out above the drain and below the shower head is called the FAUCET. Problem solved.

ThatsFunnyFunny 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 0:41

That's STUPID

yehr 0

Monday 30 November 2009 12:58

ditto

Isamermaid 17

Friday 9 April 2010 4:41

I have a real tattoo of a scorpion on my leg. It's pretty badass and realistic-looking. I find scorpions and spiders all the time in my laundry. Once, a scorpion was on a sock I'd just washed... it stung me when I picked up the sock. Since then, I've been known as the Scorpion King. I mean Queen.