Miscellaneous: Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They...

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 3 925

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Same thing different taste

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 914

You deserved it 4 878

By srs - 11/08/2018 20:30

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 082

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 228

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 99

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 151

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 986

You deserved it 393

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 859

You deserved it 4 614

By DrunkParents - 31/03/2015 23:32 - United States - Billings

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 847

You deserved it 2 728

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 235

You deserved it 5 383

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 160

You deserved it 2 766

genesisnirvana 11

Monday 4 July 2011 12:01

your parents are a win.

Andrewlostnow 3

Monday 4 July 2011 12:04

your lucky all my mom and dad do is purr and meow

Comments

ultimateguy92 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 4:12

You are a redditor!!!

chelseaaababyyy 17

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:11

haha, i like your parents(:

ndiggidy 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:38

THE NARWHAL BACONS AT MIDNIGHT!!! I saw your rage comic.

montana2010 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:42

that happiness to me to! I feel your pain.

MoglieHill 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 7:13

Roll the windows up?

9thousand 7

Tuesday 5 July 2011 8:23

I don't understand the problem. I'd give anything for my parents to be remarried and barking out windows.

DethMetal666 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 9:33

lmao! if only my mom knew how to be that fun, my life would be so much easier

drizzy212 4

Tuesday 5 July 2011 10:45

They just wanted to have fun

msole 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 14:25

reddit??

Crazzyskate 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:37

Did anyone bark back?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 932

You deserved it 266

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 314

You deserved it 3 518

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 36 603

Today, I was taking a picture with my friend. Her camera can pick out a certain color and only have that color show up in the picture. She chose yellow because of the yellow on my dress. When she showed me the picture, the sash wasn't the only yellow thing; my teeth showed up, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 577

You deserved it 18 321

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 826

You deserved it 7 139

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 180

Today, while sitting in a busy store waiting area with my brother, he went to the bathroom and came back with his hands cupped, saying he found a mouse. He then threw it on the magazine in my lap. I jumped up, screaming and flailing about while everyone stared and laughed. It was a piece of cotton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 736

You deserved it 1 204