Miscellaneous: Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly...

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By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 967

You deserved it 21 618

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Same thing different taste

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 661

By anonymous - 16/11/2011 03:17 - Canada

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 457

You deserved it 33 928

Like the beginning of a porno

By Anonymous - 15/07/2020 23:01

Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 807

You deserved it 1 607

Trash day

By AlfieBoyo - 06/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 134

By nerdygirl101 - 13/03/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 710

You deserved it 4 319

Hey there!

By ohcrap - 08/11/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 041

You deserved it 2 604

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 22:27 - Canada - Truro

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 730

You deserved it 40 613

Eyebleach

By Lexxxiii - 22/12/2020 23:02

Today, while delivering an Amazon package, I arrived to this one house where the man was outside, so I just handed it to him. As he was reaching for it, his robe popped open. Twice. He was wearing nothing but the robe, and he was your typical fat, hairy, 40-year-old man. My poor eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 154

By dorrisdoes - 28/07/2014 20:47 - New Zealand

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 325

You deserved it 10 182

Dangleberries

By myeyesburn - 28/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 174

screwtaylor 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:13

Your neighbor secretly liked it. They just haven't seen such a un-saggy, young penis in a long time.

24788 6

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:16

Hopefully every time you walk by her she doesn't wink and lick her lips. I would avoid that neighbor.

Comments

BriBeast 0

Friday 28 August 2009 14:44

That's what the little button is for! ;P

UnluckyJulie 13

Friday 28 August 2009 16:07

Somebody give this guy a medal. That was the funniest FML I've read in weeks.

sunney3 0

Friday 28 August 2009 17:54

LMAO. that's a really good one.

bigwillydurkan 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:43

yeah once at hurling training i was gettin changed after, only after i pulled down my shorts i realised i was in a similar situation!

22jrdn55 15

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:16

wtf? wuts wrong with u? how culd u get horny of ur elderly neighbor? ur seriously messed up!!

bloodfalcon22 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 1:29

Whats wrong with you? You can even spell "what's" "could" or "your" right. And who said that he had a boner? His penis was coming out of the flap is all. Nobody said he was horny. Get your mind out of the gutter.

22jrdn55 15

Saturday 29 August 2009 1:36

oh im sorry if ur so retarded u cant read!! btw hw wuld his penis come out if he wasnt getting a boner? gutter? wow ur seriously retarded!!

not_you_too 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 6:52

no ur srsly rtardd!!1 Dicks fall out of flaps. It's the way they're stuck on there. It happens, and you don't need a hard-on for it. When you start sleeping with dudes you'll realise these things. Next issue: why did I create an account just to respond to this?

xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 7:44

I'm gald to see someone else from CT... And btw, how do you not notice that? srsly?

dackattac 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 8:07

May I use this space to initiate a movement that we lose the flaps on pajama pants? Seriously, some of us feel that the little bit of extra effort it takes to pull the elastic down to urinate is more than worth the absence of risk that we might expose ourselves to anyone we may encounter while wearing them.